It is peculiar that Tolkien was once perceived to be the domain of nerdy adolescents; trench coat wearing English majors and bearded old professors. Even stranger still is the realisation that Peter Jackson’s films have become instrumental in introducing whole new generations to the works of Tolkien.

This leaves me to wonder. Given the immense power Hollywood has over us:

“How faithful should Hollywood be to the original? In fact should they be held accountable?

In the last few years we’ve seen a number of movies based on popular books. Lord of the Rings springs to mind, and although the books are not everyone’s cup of tea. I believe that Jackson captured the spirit of the original very well. The latest Harry Potter is another good example. All that was needed was a new director, and with a bit of spit and polish the current book-to-movie conversion was a success. Of course this means that I won’t have to hide my Harry Potter DVDs anymore.

Considering the recent successes of the Rowling and Tolkien franchises, I was especially interested in the release of Troy. Whilst waving around a very dusty and unread copy of The Iliad I shouted to ViXen: “Will Troy do to Homer, what the Lord of the Rings movies did to Tolkien?”.

If only I had paid more attention to those two words “loosely” and “based”. If there were ever two words that could incite a riot, it would have to be “loosely based”. The consequences are usually dire, as it normally implies a serious “cock-up”, which may mean a number of things, either character has been changed, the story has been tweaked, or a complete rewrite was ordered. Of course the result is usually a brown stain on toilet paper, which may leave you with a sick nauseating feeling much like when you first realised that Joel Schumacher single-handedly destroyed the mythology of Batman with his wretched movies. But don’t get me started on Joel Schumacher.

I can only imagine what emerged from the boardroom when the concept of Troy was first discussed. I would like to think that whoever brought the idea forward had a clear idea of how they were going to bring the Iliad to the big screen, but… somewhere, somehow the great vision was hijacked.

Suit # 1: My PA read the script and she gave me a one page summary, I hate to say it boys but this looks dull. What’s this about gods, dodgy Greek men, and a 10-year war? I was thinking it may need some spicing up; maybe we can drop the gods, add lots of explosions, condense this 10 year war to something more reasonable like a week and maybe we can add some nudity.

Suit # 2: By the way I heard this thing is based on a book… which one?

Personal Assistant: Uh sir, it’s based on Homer’s Iliad…

Suit # 1: HOMER? That… bald… yellow guy?

Personal Assistant: Uh.. no sir… Homer was a ..

Suit # 2: I don’t like the title, it sounds French.

Suit # 1: What about calling it… The Siege?

Suit # 2: No!! What about The Siege At the City?

Personal Assistant: (whispers) What about Troy sir?

Suit # 1: I’ve got an idea let’s call it Troy.

Suit # 3: …maybe we can even change the plot to include a group of Arab terrorists who try to attack Greece.

Suit # 1: That’s excellent. (Points to his PA) Write it down…

Troy left me with a feeling of unease. It had everything going for it, well-established actors (Eric Bana is in top form as Hector) but it still remains a sad interpretation of Homer. It’s enjoyable, but I found the historical distortion and inaccuracies very annoying. For the most part I wanted to shout out “NO… NO …NO…!”. In retrospect, I suppose poor Vixen probably had a hard time with the endless running commentary.

VeXx: “Menelaus was not killed by Hector, he returned to Troy with Helen”

ViXen: “yawn… yes dear”

VeXx: “What’s Achilles doing in that wooden horse, Paris should have killed him already?”

ViXen: “groan”

VeXx: “Come on.. Agamemnon didn’t die at Troy he died years later in Argos. He was killed by his wife Clytemnestra.”

ViXen: “Aaarrrghhh!!!, don’t you ever stop?”

But I digress. It seems unlike Peter Jackson; Wolfgang Petersen was unable to capture the essence of what is widely hailed as the greatest epic of western civilization. Much can be written about Homer, but the truth remains, the influence of the Iliad on subsequent western poets and writers (such as Virgil, Aeschylus, Dante, Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton and a myriad others) is inestimable.

I’m sure many reading this diatribe will be anxious to point out that Troy is just a movie and I’ll concede that Hollywood should be granted a certain amount of creative license.

But what’s wrong with expecting the best?

Anyways that’s just my two cents worth.
VeXx

Please send your comments, questions, ranting and suggestions to xavidium@yahoo.co.uk

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