Do they know How short Napoleon was when he conquered Europe :?:
:lol:
INTERVIEW WITH NAPOLEON
Does your closet contain only identical military uniforms?
Do you open your mail with a guillotine?
Do you actually know where the hell Waterloo is?
If so, then you've got a Napoleon Complex. You're NC-positive, my friend. But if you're just a short guy who stands up for himself, that doesn't count. Well, it shouldn't anyway. Yet most short guys who refuse to accept a diminished station in life register a false NC-positive with their friends and colleagues.
To get to the root of this injustice, I decided to begin at the source -- Napoleon himself.
Q: Welcome, Emperor.
A: Ah, to live again! To breathe the sweet air! Viva la France!
Q: Thank you for defying all known laws of organized religion and physics just to appear in my book.
A: Well, I liked the title. Besides, my agent tells me I need to get more face time and I'm glad to be away from that damned Hitler. He's not so bad, but those henchmen with the chest-thumping all day long? They need to stop it with that.
Q: So, do you have any idea why the short man's complex was named after you?
A: Woah! You want to lose that foot you're starting out on? You know there's a pastry named after me, too. Why don't you ask about that?
Q: Actually, I'm more curious as to why your name became synonymous with the paradox that short men need to be more a**ertive to earn the respect of their taller peers, yet are regarded as ruthlessly aggressive when they do.
A: It's a rich, cream-filled pastry with three layers of dough, and strawberries or other fruit.
Q: I see. Well, it appears I'm going to have to come right out with this… Is there any truth to the theory, your Eminence, that you were more belligerent than the average guy because you were short?
A: Sheesh, my agent is going to need a new head after this (eyes rolling). OK, I want you to stand back to back with me.
Q: Huh?
A: You heard me, come here.
(Napoleon and your author stand back to back. He is five inches taller, about 5-foot-10.)
Q: The hat, Napoleon, please.
A: What hat? … Fine, OK, fine.
(Even without his big Captain Blye hat, Napoleon is still 5-foot-6.)
Q: But I don't understand. Your autopsy said you were 5-foot-2.
A: Right, in FRENCH feet. The British foot, which you use, is shorter. So it takes more of them to measure the same height. Got it, Jonathan Swift? Incidentally, 5-foot-6 was above average for my day. So for nearly 200 years people have been calling me short when I wasn't.You, my alive friend, are short.The real question is why my height -- which wasn't much of an issue when I was alive -- became what I'm best remembered for. And I think the answer is because history is written by the winners. And being short is the biggest insult the winners could come up with for a political enemy they hated so much.
You know, if your General Washington lost his colonial rebellion, little people would be portraying him in your movies today.
Q: Wow ... You died back in 1821, yet you know all about movies and you knew enough to say "little people."
A: We get CNN in Hell. It's just that it's Larry King all the time and we can't change the channel.
