this bores me. you offer me nothing by way of dialogue and prefer instead to pursue the tedious and numbing nuances of argumentative structure and rhetoric.
your pa**ive and shrewd questioning is falsely indicative of someone who does not experience life and instead pierces through those that do in order to uncover what - universal truth?
while an argument such as this might have captivated me in my adolescence, i find i can't help but attribute it to a lesser intellect in my present state (where, admittedly, my mind has all but fled, rendering me a carbon-based hiatus). i am no longer in possession of that adherence to life that would enable me to vehemently argue out the truths of individualized (gender) perceptions - my finger-grips have loosened irrevocably in this sense.
paradoxically, your stringent vice-grip on what is 'you' is an affirmation of my own alienation.
if i teased you out, i did so unwillingly, as i do not believe in:
universal truth
opposing viewpoints
arguing
i would have liked to know your own perceptions though, not by way of a**ailing my own, but rather through you expressing them from the vantage point of yet another living, breathing, human being.
and no. i cant ululate. even if i could, i would be doubly confounded where i to discover it was not accompanied by a certain degree of shame.
salute!
im sorry you feel that way bluntedcacti.
im still naive enough to believe that people can yet find ways to bridge divides. that we at times allow miscommunication to happen. that we have more control over our lives than we think. than we could ever imagine. or atleast over what we think and what we say. what we say and what we do not say holds us just as responsible as the person on the otherside.
and im going to write these things coz i want to. coz these are my thoughts. i may not be able to put them quite as succintly as you do. thats your gift. you may choose to receive them or not. you may dismiss them. dissect them. that is up to you. it is something i have no control over.
im going to pull an unprecedented one here. a move. even for me. and im going to retrace my steps. and kill the war itself. this is trying to be a spectacle and that defeats the purpose completely. im not interested in the show. im speaking to you. with you. so ill say this rather. my responding to what you wrote was never an afront to your brilliance blunted. coz brilliant you are. it was never an attempt at matching wits or having a mental swordfight. no trying to a**ert any kind of superiority over you. not trying to prove anything. i was asking you something. it may have infact been an opportunity for you to engage with the very a**umptions we apparently make. i was asking you to teach me. i didnt like your tone. but i respect you. i dont like your tone. its not necessary. but i realise that because of that i must also change mine.
i do not believe the issue here is me. this is not about me as a person. i do not believe you know me well enough to make those kind of judgements. this was never about how i write. or what i do or dont know about life. we can hardly psychoanalyse each other on the net. with mere words. but if we must be magnanimous with advice on what it is. what it means to live. ill say you are so much more brilliant. yours is a brilliance that is required for so much more that what i feel can be quite general otherwise comments on women. you are so much more than that. you have a power so big im not sure you realise just how much. thats what i would want to say to you.
so yes. ill do my best to live a little. but i would wish you the same.
we just wasted an important moment between the two of us.
