The Church thread!

[LetsogoLaPlastik]

Pastor dollar bills in the hizo!!!!!!

*Sprinkles holy water to keep mad rappist out*

So tell me folks whats the craziest/funniest isht u seen @ church??Besides the funny 90s hats.

Family church was St. Johns apostolic,crazy folks I tell u.The service starts at 9 am till 3pm, so one time it was this old deacons turn to preach "Ntate Sqala"....dude just stood up and said "Yesses la tena, problem ke gore le rera sebaka, nna ke tshwerwe ke tlala"

translation "Damn u dudes preached fo a long time, now I'm f***en hungry".......but yahh whats ur craziest church experience??.....will add more later

[LetsogoLaPlastik]

So come varsity, was in Pretoria fo a while and switched up to the "mordenised" isht aka bazalwane.......had a friend from Mabopane so we decide nahh.....lets go fo a service @ loxion......They had everything setup township folk know what I'm talkin abt.....So the pastor that was on "tour" was not really happy with the quality of everythin.

Dude started off tellin us how he dont normally preach in f***ed up tents like the one they had for him....talking about he ussualy gets a private copter to land in big stadiums....said god would style on us for "disrespecting a servant of his sheep"....so yahh me and my homeboy r crackin up throughout the service.

Now the cat calls for everyone to come forward so he can "lay his hands upon then" (U kno the drill right??peeps were getting slapped all ova the place.....I decided to keep the "devil" if it meant avoiding the smacks.............................

*Can some1 in this thread say A_men??*

[The KWEDZA HOD]

LMAO.....
Ima include some isht for ya.

[Myth]

i last went to church in may 2001.

[The KWEDZA HOD]

LOL. I know this one kat who is also a part of em niccs, ima deal this to him, he also drinks and tells me not to drink....
Once caught the nicca with a full bottle of Jack, he was just about to open it, when i walked in he layed the bottle onto the floor and he told me he was gonna pray for whoever put it there, he claims some other nicc was playing a prack on him...

COOL. So rebbi believes.

Im away from home, so i gotta lend some isht from him, i ask for the pants he was wearing the previous day when i got there(same day he had the JACK).

I get em pants, so i offer to go get bread at the filling station near by, im walking there... i put my hands in the pockets just to find the till slip of the JACK.

I get back and ask him WTF.
This kat goes into praise mode........ Im like what the f***
He now claims im the clown who put the jack there... Im wondering, i just got here by bus, somehow i transferd myself to his crip and droped the jack daniels and went back outside and knocked on the door...

Now the story changes again... I droped it through the window... He lives on the 6th floor.
Now whats up???

"Rebbi, what does your name mean? Where you originaly from? you got a sotho name and a funcky WEST/NORTH african name.... Whats up with that? let pray for your sins"

Those are his direct words...
Now i go into mad mode... Start swearing hard at this nicca... Some evil shit.
He kicks me out, im like cool... Get into a crip with the cousin a couple streets away, had to walk.

So it starts raining, i can mad...
Decide to go back and give this kat mad teaching, when i step into the crip(didn't knock, again). i hear some funky noise... WTF.
I follow the sounds, just to get to his bedroom.
This nicc was busy with a woman, i start shouting at him asking him WTF he is doing, so this woman jumps off, gets dressed and waits by the door, i say my appologies to this lady and start with this nicc... So now he starts saying he's sorry and can we talk about this later, im like cool. As im about to bounce the lady is "like its time up i gotta bounce, that will be R500".

So im lost at this time, i look at this Kat, he shaking his head... WTF.
He pays her and she tunes, it was the last time he buys from her....
"He buys what?" i ask...
"He buys sex from me".
She even tunes that she was warned about this nicc, so ask what she was told, she tells me he always getting caught, his mom beat up one of the previous ladies and now i looked like ima beat her up.


Im realy tird of these niccas, got another friend who into this aswell....... I DON'T TRUST HIM

Thats some ZCC isht, not church related as such but it gets there. its a true story by the way. No PM for names please. Kea hana

[Mad]

Pastor dollar bills in the hizo!!!!!!

*Sprinkles holy water to keep mad rappist out*

So tell me folks whats the craziest/funniest isht u seen @ church??Besides the funny 90s hats.

Family church was St. Johns apostolic,crazy folks I tell u.The service starts at 9 am till 3pm, so one time it was this old deacons turn to preach "Ntate Sqala"....dude just stood up and said "Yesses la tena, problem ke gore le rera sebaka, nna ke tshwerwe ke tlala"

translation "Damn u dudes preached fo a long time, now I'm f***en hungry".......but yahh whats ur craziest church experience??.....will add more later

you some reall f***ed up shit you know, what has gone wrong on ag people? from red wine threads now this? this a site about hip hop not some holy city zion bullshit? man what the f***? you out of your motherf***en mind? ima derail this thread up, thread derailment baby all the way, if you cats are ignoring my request to derail this thread, ima logg on with my 13 Accounts and make a conversation to myself and derail this thread, this thread is going donw, i cant watch people ruin ag like this

[Myth]

i cant watch people ruin ag like this

funny u say that

[The KWEDZA HOD]

i cant watch people ruin ag like this

funny u say that

LOL.
No comment

[J-oNE/Pat-B-Rick]

Pastor dollar bills in the hizo!!!!!!

*Sprinkles holy water to keep mad rappist out*

So tell me folks whats the craziest/funniest isht u seen @ church??Besides the funny 90s hats.

Family church was St. Johns apostolic,crazy folks I tell u.The service starts at 9 am till 3pm, so one time it was this old deacons turn to preach "Ntate Sqala"....dude just stood up and said "Yesses la tena, problem ke gore le rera sebaka, nna ke tshwerwe ke tlala"

translation "Damn u dudes preached fo a long time, now I'm f***en hungry".......but yahh whats ur craziest church experience??.....will add more later

you some reall f***ed up shit you know, what has gone wrong on ag people? from red wine threads now this? this a site about hip hop not some holy city zion bullshit? man what the f***? you out of your motherf***en mind? ima derail this thread up, thread derailment baby all the way, if you cats are ignoring my request to derail this thread, ima logg on with my 13 Accounts and make a conversation to myself and derail this thread, this thread is going donw, i cant watch people ruin ag like this

HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU LONELY a** CHILD

[Mad]

i just cant rely comprehend with some other udes you know?

[J-oNE/Pat-B-Rick]

I cant comprehend what you just said but yeah I know.

[Mad]

I cant comprehend what you just said but yeah I know.

why you on my nuts?

[J-oNE/Pat-B-Rick]

Who's on yo nuts
Im saying I dont understand what you saying Negro.

[watziznehmegin]

mad rapper needs jesus

[Mad]

mad rapper needs jesus

and you need me to take my pistol and blow off your noodles, you grump