salute baldi.
The sad reality is that we (our generation of women ) were taught to be "independent women" by people who knew nothing of it. Our mother weren't these so called independent women so how they possibly know how to groom any. Our mothers force us to go to school and home schooling took the back leg. Yes, we don't cook half as well as our mothers because it was never a priority. The problem is that the same mothers who taught us to be "independent women" are the same people who then turned around and taught their sons that the woman's roll is to be in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant oh wait, she also needs to make her own money.
Men are so quick to complain when they're not getting a** anymore as though we don't like sex. Put yourself in a womans position. You go to work, deal with a lot of shit at office. Then come home to a man who, even though he's been home for the past three hours, is waiting on you to cook, wash the kids, help with home work and clean up and as if that's not enough still have the energy to lay on my back while you pounce on me all night. NO FREAKING WAYS. We don't use sex as a reward but if I came home and dinner was prepared,we're gonna have sex that night and not because I'm rewarding you for a job well done but because I actually have the energy to do so.
salute panic.
you don't have to do shit for me and i don't have to do shit for you. everything is done instead out of want. that's how i keeps it. so Deac as much as i see where you're coming from i don't agree necessarily because it re-inforces an ideal i don't believe in. it's not anyone's job to do anything in a relationship unless you want it that way.
and i don't.
id add some things in there but maybe what all i want to share is, just how much ive been coming across something thats made me sit down and like wonder. i think its just with the changes that take place with time and certain things being more prominent now, coming to the fore but some relationships have always molded themselves around individuals and not societal expectations.
some families have been working in ways we are still grappling with now. angelina n sithebe is a writer who shares of how when she was growing up, her father raised six children as a stay at home dad. combed their hair, washed dishes and swept the stoep as she puts it. took them to the clinic, the zoo, movies, did the story telling. the mother was the breadwinner and he, the primary caretaker. i seem to be coming across quite a few of these stories. this isnt something new. in the same way women can choose to embody it all or parts.
so yes, no one is confined to anything. no one has to anything. be with who you want to be with, in the way you want to be with them. and then find your own rhythm of the give and take. as two individuals meeting and sharing. it may be things for some, for others it may not. you find your way. what is important is nurturing the ability to appreciate and be mindful of your partner. i think thats the most significant aspect of all this. i think this is what people are looking for, want.
if you choose carefully and choose properly, it will be someone who you 'want to' for. and who can flow right back to you.
