Get Dropox | Luno Bitcoin | Ovex Crypto | Binance | Get Free Crypto - Morpher
Africasgateway.com

Lame Jokes

The Mighty Loks

  • AG Veteran
  • *****
    • Posts: 2917
    • REP: +37/-66
    • Gender:Female
    • View Profile
Q: What did the Jewish pedophile say to the little boy?

A: Would you like to buy some sweeties?



Q: What's the difference between a prostitute and a crack dealer?


A: A prostitute can wash her crack and resell it.

of course you'd participate

:P

 ;D  ;D lame jokes are my specialty. But you'll notice I've upped my game.


Touareg

  • AG Extremist
  • *****
    • Posts: 732
    • REP: +14/-18
    • Gender:Male
    • View Profile
The clapping orphan joke killed me...
Real Recognise Real


Papa ThReAdS

  • Are you a bish?? Then you can love me.
  • AG Elite Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 2046
    • REP: +24/-31
    • Gender:Male
  • The beautiful man...The beautiful Legend...
    • View Profile
Life Explained...


On the first day, God created the dog and said:

‘Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in
or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’

The dog said: ‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten
years and I’ll give you back the other ten?’

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

‘Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give
you a twenty-year life span.’

The monkey said: ‘Monkey tricks for twenty years?
That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like
the Dog did?’

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

‘You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer
under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s
family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.’

The cow said: ‘That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for
sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?’

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

‘Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you
twenty years.’

But man said: ‘Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
twenty,the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and
the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?’

‘Okay,’ said God, ‘You asked for it.’

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our
family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and
bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.
Beating bitches since 1982.


Talentless

  • I Need a Hug...
  • AG Regular
  • ****
    • Posts: 255
    • REP: +2/-3
    • Gender:Male
    • View Profile
What do you do with a dog with no legs?
Take it for a drag.



Why don't blind people like to go sky diving?
It scares the crap out the dog. 


:o


Get over yourself.


Mrs Jones

  • AG Elite Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 1116
    • REP: +10/-41
    • Gender:Female
  • Acoustic Soul
    • View Profile
Sipho dies, gets to heaven and realise that hes in deep shit because everything is WHITE. The people are WHITE, the angels are WHITE.........Petros asks Sipho: "what is your name?"
Sipho thinks quickly and answers: "Leonardo De Caprio!"
Petros looks confused, calls Moses closer and asks: "Moses, het die f*ken Titanic gebrand of gesink?"
All my life I had to fight. I loves Harpo, God knows I do. But I'll kill him dead 'fo I let him beat me.


the panic!

  • AG Elite Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 1805
    • REP: +26/-28
    • View Profile
Sipho dies, gets to heaven and realise that hes in deep shit because everything is WHITE. The people are WHITE, the angels are WHITE.........Petros asks Sipho: "what is your name?"
Sipho thinks quickly and answers: "Leonardo De Caprio!"
Petros looks confused, calls Moses closer and asks: "Moses, het die f*ken Titanic gebrand of gesink?"

 :D


The Mighty Loks

  • AG Veteran
  • *****
    • Posts: 2917
    • REP: +37/-66
    • Gender:Female
    • View Profile
Sipho dies, gets to heaven and realise that hes in deep shit because everything is WHITE. The people are WHITE, the angels are WHITE.........Petros asks Sipho: "what is your name?"
Sipho thinks quickly and answers: "Leonardo De Caprio!"
Petros looks confused, calls Moses closer and asks: "Moses, het die f*ken Titanic gebrand of gesink?"


Bwakakakakakaka * DEAD *


MOFF G

  • MOFF G
  • AG Extremist
  • *****
    • Posts: 536
    • REP: +3/-9
    • Gender:Male
  • MOFF G: THE GENIUS
    • View Profile
    • MOFFG
Life Explained...


On the first day, God created the dog and said:

‘Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in
or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’

The dog said: ‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten
years and I’ll give you back the other ten?’

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

‘Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give
you a twenty-year life span.’

The monkey said: ‘Monkey tricks for twenty years?
That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like
the Dog did?’

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

‘You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer
under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s
family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.’

The cow said: ‘That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for
sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?’

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

‘Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you
twenty years.’

But man said: ‘Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
twenty,the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and
the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?’

‘Okay,’ said God, ‘You asked for it.’

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our
family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and
bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

hahahahhaaaaa now i know why....
the greatest rides u'd ever experince is upon the DEATH STAR....


Mega

  • AG Regular
  • ****
    • Posts: 335
    • REP: +2/-9
    • View Profile

A guy with dyslexia walks into a bra.
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.


CrorgoBum

  • Hey guys, just registered
  • Newbie
  • *
    • Posts: 3
    • REP: +1/-0
    • Gender:Male
    • View Profile
    • Hey guys, just registered
So ive been thinking off all these really lame jokes And thought I would make a thread for people to add there own dont yall feel special. Ive labelled it adult.... because no doubt it will be in the long run :P Hide your answers too
 
 
So JOKES AWAY
 
 
Q: What do you call a fly without wings?
 
The following content has been hidden  -   Reason : Answer   
A: a walk


Mrs Jones

  • AG Elite Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 1116
    • REP: +10/-41
    • Gender:Female
  • Acoustic Soul
    • View Profile

A guy with dyslexia walks into a bra.

hahahahahahaha lmao
All my life I had to fight. I loves Harpo, God knows I do. But I'll kill him dead 'fo I let him beat me.


1kind

  • onek1nd is superman on the eiffel tower, saving the world from parasites.
  • AG Extremist
  • *****
    • Posts: 871
    • REP: +8/-25
    • Gender:Male
  • My xhosa friends and I started a clique!
    • View Profile
A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill."   

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A 1997 World Hide-and-Seek champion.


Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him ... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.


A policeman stopped a man who was walking along with an alligator and ordered him to take it to the zoo at once. The next day the policeman saw the same man with the same alligator.

"I thought I told you to take that to the zoo," he said.

"I did," said the man, "and now I'm taking him to the movies."


                                   
I put Religion, Opression and Weakness underground and when i looked down i felt myself begin to GROW.

www.reverbnation.com/1kind


J-oNE/Pat-B-Rick

  • http://www.soundclick.com/J-oNERSA
  • AG Elite Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 2415
    • REP: +17/-30
    • Gender:Male
  • I got the coolest shower door in S.A
    • View Profile
    • Beatz for Africa
Ye OneK1nd's was definately the lamest.

 Have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower?
That's because he hides well.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.

What was the centerpiece of the annual
Anorexia and Bulimnia sufferers convention?
A cake jumping out of a girl.


How many dyslexics does it take to change a light bulb?

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Roamin' Catholic.

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud."
"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."

My personal favourite:
Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night...  One was a**aulted.

So there are these two muffins baking in an oven. One of them yells, “Wow, it’s hot in here!”
And the other muffin replies: “Holy cow! A talking muffin!”

Famous last words of a mafia hitman: "Who put the violin in the violin case?"


J-oNE/Pat-B-Rick

  • http://www.soundclick.com/J-oNERSA
  • AG Elite Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 2415
    • REP: +17/-30
    • Gender:Male
  • I got the coolest shower door in S.A
    • View Profile
    • Beatz for Africa
Oh! My conversation to one of my friends on christmas, around 9 o'clock.

J-oNE: Hey, did you watch the news?

Mrz Lephoma (Yes that's an actual contact): Nah y?

J-oNE: A santa got arrested at menlyn earlier today.

Mrz Lephoma: Lmp2!! Y?

J-oNE: He called some poor unsuspecting woman a hoe three times

Mrz Lephoma: wtf. That's rude man

J-oNE:.... Omw. Jesus, nvm Kayla.

*J-oNE is now offline*


The Grand

  • AG Hustler
  • ***
    • Posts: 54
    • REP: +0/-3
    • Gender:Male
  • You could be on your way to earning loads more!
    • View Profile
    • You could be on your way to earning loads more green!
"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud."
"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."
You could be on your way to earning loads more green!

http://www.adslphone.co.za/biz_opp.asp?ID=513432