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The results of boredom

The Angry Hand of God

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I was bored at work and have been trolling chatrooms and stuff
Here's one
Quote
Me: Is there anyone here?
Me: How long do people usually wait?
Me: How do you expect people to join if we have to wait so long?
Agent [Tiffani] is ready to a**ist you.
Tiffani: Merry Christmas!
Tiffani: How are you?
Me: I'm fine thank you
Me: How are you?
Me: Hello
Me: You're palying around Tiffani
Me: playing
Me: Are you upset that your parents couldn't spell Tiffany and now you are taking it out on me, by wasting time?
Tiffani: I'm fine. What brings you to Mormon.org?
Me: I would just like to know a little more about the religion
Me: Cos I am considering becoming a Merman
Me: tick tock
Me: tick
Me: tcok
Me: tock
Me: hello
Me: hi
Me: Hey again
Me: Hello there
Me: hi
Me: How are you?
Tiffani: Do you have a sincere question related to religion that we can discuss?
Me: I would like to know what the merman stance is on polygamy
Me: Hi there
Me: Hello
Me: Anyone there?
Me: Are you ignoring me because I'm black?
Tiffani: Mormons don't practice polygamy.
Tiffani: If you can't be serious, I will close the chat...
Me: I'm being serious, but you are taking forever to answer me.
Me: But then why have I read about polygamous merman sects in Salt Lake etc?
Me: And I have heard of numerous occasions of such things happening, so it made me wonder what the official stance is.
Tiffani: We don't practice polygamy those groups are not a part of our faith. Click here for more information.
Me: Okay.
Me: That link doesn't work
Me: I am asking this, because I am in a polygamous relationship and due to my culture as a virile black man, I would like to continue this. Other parts of your religion do still interest me too.
Me: Would there be objections to me being polygamous?
Tiffani: Those who are members who practice polygamy become excommunicated from the church.
Me: Okay.
Tiffani: http://beta-newsroom.lds.org/topic/polygamy
Tiffani: Here's a better link.
Me: So, what is your stance on evolution?
Me: Thanks
Me: Evolution?
Me: and also, how many Mermen are there worldwide?
Tiffani: What kind of evolution? And there are almost 14 million members.
Me: Whoah! That's a lot
Me: Evolution, as in the evolution of one specie into a higher or lower lifeform, through changes in its environment and adaptation
Me: so, where do you hide all of them, since I have only ever seen Mermen on TV and in books? I'm sure I would have seen them if there are so many.
Me: You there?
Me: Are you ignoring me?
Me: This is so rude
Tiffani: The church doesn't have an official stance on evolution we know God created the earth but we don't know how. But here's a statement about the orgin of man. http://lds.org/ensign/2002/02/the-origin-of-man?lang=eng
Me: Okay.
Me: So, how do you become a Merman then?
Tiffani: A person listens to the missionaries and then accepts the teachings and is baptized.
Me: And when do you get your fins and stuff?
Tiffani: We don't get fins.
Me: Huh?
Me: And gills?
Me: Do you have to pay for your own fins and gills?
Me: And where are they attached?
Me: I mean, who does the surgery?
Tiffani: I don't know know what you are talking about.
Me: I a**ume you are female, right?
Me: Have you been baptised and everything?
Tiffani: yes
Tiffani: and yes
Me: So, do you have your fins and gills?
Me: Cos you said to become a Merman, I should get baptised and stuff.
Me: Or do you have to do more?
Tiffani: We're Mormons not mermans
Me: Cos, I really wanna live under the sea and marry a mermaid. I love seafood and would love to eat it everyday
Me: Are there more mermaids than Mermen?
Tiffani: Do you have a sincere question related to religion that we can discuss?
Me: I thought we were discussing a sincere question, but now you are acting ignorant.
Tiffani: No I'm not. I want to discuss my faith not fish.
Me: Mermen aren't fish.
Me: They eat fish
Tiffani: I'll wait to see if you change your mind and are willing to have a sincere conversation.
Me: I don't understand.
Me: I have always wanted to live in the ocean and swim with dolphins, now you are trying to keep it from me.
Me: Is this because I told you earlier that I am African?
Me: Do Mermaids and Mermen not want Africans in your ocean
Me: I am a really good swimmer
Me: Are there any black Mermen?
Me: Are mermen racist?
Tiffani: I am sorry that you donít want to be serious right now. You are welcome to return later if you sincerely want to learn more.