love, lust redeem.
DEAR READERS OF AG AND THE WHOLE CYBER COMMUNITY
i´ve been arrogant and conceited..ive been reading my old articles, and this is my best piece ever,i wrote it IN a very sad context of my life.its easy to understand and entertaining, i think i did it in like 45min´s or so..but its till hardwork conjuring up ideas and applying them to personal experience and constructing them into a format that is comprehendable to readers. i´m a good writer and i know it...a little thick in the head but still talented with words.
Recently i wrote an article for Boombap.co.za they said they were going to pay me for the article, they didnt cause it was copied and pasted onto the forums of AG. the internet is a medium full of text, infact the internet is just text,visual and language. many people go on the internet to get this text for whatever purpose suits them, now to think that no one would ever copy text from boombap is rather naive and almost very silly.i´m bamboozled as to whether they wont deliver my monetary gains because of this "lifting" of text or whether it is a feeble excuse to jux me...what ever it is, the fact remains that it´s still not very professional. what happened is beyond my control and boombap´s if they think that people wont take stuff from them. or maybe they should lock the texts if they want keep them within their community, which would be useless as you could just easily press the print screen button and edit out what you want in corel draw or paint brush. no contract or formal agreement was signed, so theres nothing i can do. my plea to boombap is that they pay me as a sign of good faith, appreciation of my work for them and as decent human beings.
please support my little cause, it may mean nothing to you readers, but please support a fellow member of the AG community.
p.s. Shane always delivers my skrilla.
BELOW HERE IS MY FINEST WORK.
How To Successfully Die
(953 total words in this text)
(185 reads)
Now we’ve all heard of fate and people saying that we have our “time” or everyone has their time to leave this earth. Well I’m ready to decompose now but wouldn’t it be justified to leave in such a manner that will leave those around us astounded? Suicide is already frowned upon in this selfish world so I guess the least we can do to satisfy society is leave in a graceful manner. I’m already and insignificant waste of semen so why not make my death worth the effort? So put the gun down for a minute and do the following before you blow your f**king grey matter on to your dirty cheap carpet. This is the official suicide etiquette.
Now most say that suicide is the most selfish thing one can do so. So why don’t you give these greedy Motherf**kers a gift! (Note that I wrote “Motherf**ker” with a capital letter as to emphasize that I do care about these Motherf**kers). Move your depressed a** on down to your local Pep store or one of those R10 shops and get them something nice like a handkerchief or a mug. Trust me when I say that the whole “tell them how much you care and love them” thing is useless a waste of your breath when you could be using your breath to inhale excess amounts of carbon monoxide. The last thing you want to do is to leave this horrible planet with out having mended relationships with your “loved” ones. If you owe money to someone, do pay half of it back and promise to give him or her the remainder next month just so he/she can at least feel that your useless existence did account to something. Now the hardest part is to tell your parents that they wasted their time exchanging bodily fluids and why your mom had to put up with your dad always asking to be pissed on. To tell your folks that they wasted their time bringing you into this piece of sh*t world is the only disadvantage of suicide. My suggestion is that you get them drunk. Drunk to the point that your Father will try to finger f**k your Mommy in front of you. In such a state of mind they will probably encourage your suicide, as you’re the spotless perfect little kiddie.
Now don’t be a**uming that Suicide is a depressed low-life Neanderthal activity but truth is that suicide is a very eloquent and dignified practice. In fact it is a cultured way of death, as every suicide requires a suicide note. Now for those dumb losers who are ready to die but have no formal education and cannot write a deep moving piece of literature to commemorate your insignificance, weakness and reason for overdosing on angel dust are in serious trouble. A suicide note is a piece of writing requiring much attention to when constructed. One does not want to sound as if he actually tried to help himself deal with what ever situation he was going through or come across as if you don’t want to die. Of course you want to die you dumb f**k face! Express that feeling inside of you! Tell them about all your hardships and how the world forced you to take your own life. You are not directly responsible for your death some individual or situation killed you. Do emphasize your lack of optimism and faith in “talking about it” talking got you nowhere but to a crack habit and a gay counsellor.
Do remember to use small letters and no capital letters as to emphasize your insignificant role in the world. To conclude your suicide note don’t forget to drop a short list of all the people you hate and claim they made your life a living hell so that whatever friends you have left go out and beat their heads in with blunt objects to avenge your death. Thus your friends will feel a bit better about losing you and you will smile like a nigger in a watermelon patch when you see them with you at hell’s gate.
Suicide is not as easy as Kurt Cobain makes it look. It takes a lot of courage to shoot your self in the head! Go out and get a case of beer and some vodka. Then proceed to take hits of phencyclidine (PCP) till you’re convinced that you can swallow a pregnant elephant and drink 500 tons of detergent. Now in such a mind state the last thing you got on your mind is the thought that you’ll never see another day, masturbate, watch pron, masturbate, get drunk, masturbate and complain about how much life sucks. So do proceed to the main event as were all getting bored of your bitching.
Okay, Shoot yourself! Drive your moms car off a cliff, overdose on drugs, have sex with Oprah Winfrey, hang your self, poison yourself, inhale carbon monoxide, become a rapper, have sex with as much celebrities as possible (preferably anal, you know how it is in Hollywood)…there are a million ways to die! Be creative and original! For example, eat a lot of roughage (fibre) and put a cork in you anal canal as to stop the faeces from exiting the body. Let the faeces accumulate until the sh*t runs up your duodenum and it starts to fill up your stomach and thoracic cavity. You will eventually have sh*t dripping out of your mouth, ears and eyes and yes you will die!
I hope you all enjoy dying, as it is a beautiful experience!
Peace and f**k off and die!
Love SpaceVein
Disclaimer: This website DOES NOT endorse killing oneself. Do the right thing and phone Life Line 0861-322–322.
[ This message was edited by: SpaceVein on 18-08-2004 15:05 ]
