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Other => Humour / Jokes => Topic started by: briCK on June 07, 2006, 02:30:28 PM
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I made this discovery in a kinda embarra**ing way, so I have been debating weather to share this or not. I for one could give two shits what females do and why. I have recently made friends with a certain female and yesterday I had to dead the friendship coz it had escalated to really really disturbing heights.
I have for the last three years been cultivating a female friendly approach to life, the only way I will be able to raise my daughter is if I can get to understand the female mind which often times means( VERY VERY VERY RARELY ONCE IN A BLUE MOON and for a few seconds at that ) I should think like a woman.. :oops: :oops: bear with me its nauseating I know. So I have a handful of female "friends" :oops: :oops: bear with me
so I have been finding out some interesting things about females and ironically its made pussy acquisition more efficient my turn around time from "Hi" to me kicking her out has almost halved, girls speak funny ..anyway this is not the point of this thread!
So now I hope that gives you a picture as to why I got to where I am going to share with you; an embarra**ing situation!
Shit I dunno!!!
:?
I'll continue later! The white man want me to earn HIS money is it not enough that its HIS oxygen that I breathe!
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you can't leave us hanging like that briCK!
i always thought women went to the toilet in twos so they didn't have to stop talking :)
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This I gotta hear....please continue with your story bra :?:
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hurry back homey :P
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BriCK still aint back?????
That's rough!
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well now that the bills are paid!
So as I have already stated this lady and I have become disgustingly close, to the point that she calls me at night to chat about nothing and I have NO-PROBLEM with that, we chat away a storm and its all good.
make no mistake i aint no fool she shady like that and she is not the type I like hitting so I am not that way inclined. It started a few months back that I started feel awkward, she kissed me on the cheek the one time and I was like :? but made no big deal out of it. The she would cook come over to my place pick me up and we'd spend the day just kicking it. She has asked me to go shoping with her numerous times and well let me put it like this I pay people to do MY shopping f*** that shit I aint going shopping for shit!
We connected in a wierd way a way a guy and a girl should not connect, I have connected with girls in a she is one of the Niggas kinda way. I have seen and laughted a niggaz who connect with girl in a you one off the girls kinda way.
I think me and this Girl ever since I started talking to her about my daughter we sort of connect in a ... shit what the word.. friends kinda away as in we have something in common kinda way its complex!
We walk hand in hand, we hug we do all sorts of silly stupid shit, that I don't do with anyone else, we friends with physical affection benefits!
We have kissed like kissed toungue and all slobbed each other but sex ..Is not really a possibilty I don't feel for her that way.
She has bitten of my mannerisims I have bitten some of hers we got this stupid giggle that I hate! I at times hear her speak and its like I listening to myself only in a girly voice and its creepy.
WE ARE FREINDS
Now last night a mutual frend was throwing a birthday party I did not know she was there niether did she know I would be there so we met there.
We not friends outside ourselves as in its Her and Me we don't have mutual friends at least we did not.
anyway all this typing got me tired I'll finish story for y'all...
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F*CKING CLIFF-HANGER SH*T! :x
briCK should write screen-plays for B-Movies :lol:
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briCK, dis sum bullshit and u know it bra. Cum on now...
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:lol:
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Good morn!
So okay now that all the questionable shit has been put to rest I shall proceed.
Okay so while Nompi and I are at the party we start to hear or maybe I start to hear some disturbing shit, so I wanna talk to her without drawing attention to the situation and yes you guessed it, the toilet was the(surprised as I am am) most logical place to do it, who would have thunk girls thinking logically to some degree its dumb but there is some logic to it.
No! thats not what women do in toilets thats how my wierd evening began.
So okay now that we in the toilet she sits on the toilet and she starts talking, I at that point had had a beer or two or three or f*** I failed math. the she say "My friend I don't know if I know how to kiss properly, wanna practice?"
needless to say I had the biggest grin on my face, I mean shady as she is she is rather what is the word? delectable(www.dictionary.com). So we get to the "practice".
more details to come
This a Loooooooong long story and I promise y'all niggas will never wonder why it happens and why they come back with a grin
white man's money calls!
Ad break!
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they go in 2 so they can talk about u and your friend as
they decide who's gonna give it up to who
then talk about make up
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they go in 2 so they can talk about u and your friend as
they decide who's gonna give it up to who
then talk about make up
NO!
change you avatar back!
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for real they do..............
avatar change nah man...........breasts are the future :lol:
i got too many avy's to stick wit one for
this long..................
like certain beings
bye
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like certain beings
you fireing shots at the throne?
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no iam jus saying...........................
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aight then...
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Anyway I shall proceed with my ramblings...
Then before we leave the toilet, she says she wants to take a leak (piss), and she says "thank god you are here", you will notice that this phenomenon of females toileting together happens when people are out, at a party, dinner date etc etc i.e in the public eye as it were.
Most are dressed in pants or Jeans you will notice that girls in skirts go alone to the toilet
O yeah skirts, reminds me of another situation my big mouth got me into, I recently had the privilege of disrobing a big breasted morsel and I had the misfortune of coming across the most modern bra I have ever seen, I believe females judge a lot about a man from stupid shit and am pretty certain I failed in this instance...I could not unclip or un hook .. pretty much I did not know how I would take this complex Bra off so being the smart cat I am I improvised, My honour would not allow me to ask for a**istance and I am sure I will not be visited anymore by the woman coz I really really had to suck on those nipples , so I sort of pulled the bra down and “pop“ I licked and sucked. I am still embarra**ed by my uncivil ways of devouring those “gifts” I think there should be a Mammary Etiquette, we can’t just engage breast as we like, briCK that is just unacceptable!!! Shame on a nigga!
I am filled with temporary shame, So I’ll be back to confront the matter at hand!!
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wheres the rest of it?
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Its a known fact that females have small little hands and what goes with small little hands? little fingers. Know most jeans have zips and we know that they can be tricky little f***ers right? what better than to minds to tackle this enourmous task?
So the reason the relationship had to end, any female who is comftable enough around you to pee in your face obviously means your relationship has become to close for comfort, there we are two grown human beings struggling with the intricate task of unzipping..
that is just out
So while we are playing with her Zip IT HIT ME
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Its no secret most fashion designers are male, Jeans were designed for men and girls sort of HiJacked the idea of rocking jeans, all tight and what not. The Zip was built to be strong so it can pull the denim together what these designers did not take into consideration is girls are not as strong as the average male. As a yougen when I got my first pair of jeans I remmber I would have a hard time hard time pulling up my Zip pulling it down. There you have it!
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This is obviously my own logical deduction, u know made up history of how it started.
But like most things they were originally built for one thing but over the years people abuse them
Same goes for this phenomenon.
It started out as an innocent "logical" I put that quotation coz well its not logical for woman to wear jeans.Unless she ot planning on having sex that day, have you ever tried in the heat of the moment have a quickie with a woman in jeans? MISSION IMPOSSIBLE I have lost boners while tryna undress females, so the whole rocking jeans in the first place is just out.
Times have changed though and I am all for equal right and females wearing what ever it is that they like but please be nice and make our already difficult jobs of pleasuring you and ourselves easir by wearing more accessible clothing. I have seen women in very very appealing out fit but always rather not engane them coz I can see that the clothes she is wearing are a handfull and I get a headache even thinking about how I am going to dis-robe her so I windup moving on along to Minki in the Cotton mini shirt nothing say easy access than that!
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Anyway, as we giggle and as I unzip her jeans(I am only human) I start getting all sorts of ideas I mean shit, I am pulling a females Zip down just about to pull her jeans down, I may have a soft spot for females but shit I am still a shady as man so lift off is envitable.
There am honry and ready, she would have given it up, but I had no rubbers and NOWAY in hell was I ging in unprotected so I have this remmdy for un-expected and innapropriate boners, I was at my job interview with raging boner one time the woman was ..well go figure.
I once watched this pron flick with this horrible looking and shaped troglodyte I never can hold a boner for more than 5minutes whenever I think of the flick I have the images etched in my brain.
I could not belive what she asked me next see needs a**itance taking her underwear off coz today she is weraing special underwear and she fears she might rip it with her nails.
I oblige with mind firmly focused on the troglodyte of-cource.
I aint salty, just plain nuts 8) (catch the wordplay? briCK halla)
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PS I was speaking with an Englishman at work yesterday and he did not appriciate my poor grammer bad manners, my bboy stance my music or my bad spelling. I pronounce words like I spell them so any spelling mistake you see might not be a mistake just how I pronounce shit, this Englishman did not appriciate me butchering his language so If I offened anyone with this English Languge bloodbath I apologize
DP we cool?
PS.... and before I am mistaken for a uneducated bastid?
E =MC2 motherufukcer so fall back!
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Geez bra!
You took sooooo long to tell your story.
But that aint the reason girls go to the toilet together...SORRY :)
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Geez bra!
You took sooooo long to tell your story.
But that aint the reason girls go to the toilet together...SORRY :)
The cats out the Bag! I remmeber you once saying you hang mostly with guys, So i think females hide some of the latest underground shady female behaviour, have no fear I'll get you up to speed with the quickness
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hey brick you get my PM 8O
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I once went out with this girl and we stayed together, let me rephrase I used to stay with her at her place, i told her i still stay a home with my ma just to stop her from comming to place, coz well I kinda started the relationship with a lie, I sort of distorted the truth,
No I do not have M3 and No I am not filthy rich, when i met this woman it was sheer luck and dumbness that got me within speaking range she was the daughter of some filthy rich man and well I was just a recovering pothead drop-out, so Well i might have tweked the truth somewhat.
So she did not know my place and well she sort of didnot know my real name or surname, if you going to lie I say go ALL out.
The point of this is that what I am bout to talk about might come of wierd without a brief history. So we got so close with this girl we stayed together we bathed together showered together and one day she needed to pee while I was bathing(she had that toilet bathroom combo. I was scared for life and rather amused people always tld me girls sit down to urinate and I used to think bullshit we'll I saw it for myself with my own eyes.
So throuogh out reletionship she would occasionally pe infront of me I'll I got used to it.
*end of background*
Back to the party and toilet issue! She sort just started pee and due to the shady bitches I have rolled with in the past who when drunk would pe in darkspots and my free to pee ex it was no big deal she finished and well she neded someone to pull up her jeans and I just happened to be there.
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hey brick you get my PM 8O
:D yeah i've been watching Kung-fu the WHOLE morning way to workup a thirst!
I tried to upload them on at a time and yousend it crashed, but I will upload them
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Props I'll have another few next week :D
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Then she left the daunting task of pulling her jeans up and maneuvering the difficult to maneuver the complex Zip, which glad to say was a walk in the park for me.
All the while from the slobering right through to operating the Zip obviously there was No such luck as silence, girls have TONS to say and all this times she was going on about who's wearing what(obviously shit fell onto deaf ears)
Her:Did you see her skirt
Me: ummm
Her: I hate it
Me: ummm
Her: Is she nice?
Me: ummm
Her: WHAT?
Me: uhh what?
Her: You like her?
Me: urrrrr shit whats that on your face, let me see
Me: oh its nothing
the we giggle and she forget and goes on about somthing or another.
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Props I'll have another few next week :D
cool I hope you can get the one's that Rza sampled from i'll draw up a list I stole from some other site naming all the Movies Rza sampled from!
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^^Well I can get the actual theme songs from the movies
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briCK...HOW COULD YOU GET IT SO WRONG! My brother...that is not the reason. :wink:
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briCK...HOW COULD YOU GET IT SO WRONG! My brother...that is not the reason. :wink:
you don't know the half just you wait, that what they do amongest other things!
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You still haven't REALLY broken down why you think girls go to the toilet together and I'm beginning to think you have no idea why :!:
In fact, I don't really understand where you're headed with all this extra background info?????? :? :? :?
WHY DO YOU THINK GIRLS GO TO THE TOILET TOGETHER????
Give it to me straight. :wink:
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You know how it is with sharks,,, if they stop swimming they can't breathe - moving forward with their mouths open is how they move water across their gills for breathing. Well, maybe it's the same for females - if they stop talking they won't be able to move air through their lungs. That's why they gotta go to the toilet together ;)
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Nah D...that aint the reason either. :)
It's partly got to do with not wanting to be bothered by any brothers on your way there coz see guys are usually more afraid to approach girls when they're together. It's much easier for them to approach you when you're on your own.
But that's not the only reason I guess. There's more to it than the need to yap on forever. :wink:
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heheh,,, well at least we are getting somewhere now :)
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Unless she ot planning on having sex that day,
Times have changed though and I am all for equal right and females wearing what ever it is that they like but please be nice and make our already difficult jobs of pleasuring you and ourselves easir by wearing more accessible clothing. !
it has a little Zuma on it - dont you think...
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You know how it is with sharks,,, if they stop swimming they can't breathe - moving forward with their mouths open is how they move water across their gills for breathing. Well, maybe it's the same for females - if they stop talking they won't be able to move air through their lungs. That's why they gotta go to the toilet together ;)
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LMHO
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It's partly got to do with not wanting to be bothered by any brothers on your way there coz see guys are usually more afraid to approach girls when they're together.
ther is a flaw in that logic, I think only high school kids are afraid to approach girls in a group, shit I will approach a female around ALL her friends you can clown a cat like me all you want but that falls on deaf ears and I chalk it to the game as nother female that turned me down no big deal.
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You still haven't REALLY broken down why you think girls go to the toilet together and I'm beginning to think you have no idea why :!:
In fact, I don't really understand where you're headed with all this extra background info?????? :? :? :?
WHY DO YOU THINK GIRLS GO TO THE TOILET TOGETHER????
Give it to me straight. :wink:
Well I am dilly dalling I, how could I know why, All I am tryna illustrate is the wierd experince I had with a female in a toilet wheater thats what they do or not I am a sexy male beast they'll never show or tell, but from this one experince I know there is defininatly some shady shit going on.
As I have already mentioned from the start I for one could give two shits about females and they dodgy behaviour but this toilet experince really gained my intrest in the subject.
Y'all just wait this was the first incident I am just too busy at work to pen it all at once!
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i have made many trips to the ladies' toilets in my time and always with a lady who was willing and able. the gents' toilets just don't cut it for me - brothers always wanna wait around to see who's busy in the cubilcle, and for some strange reason ladies just don't mind. or maybe that's just the kind of places i find myself in - i have always a**umed that the reason why girls go to the toilet in packs was to compare their brazilian waxes and feel how smooth the other ones' are, or maybe again that's just my twisted self speaking on what should be happening... 8O
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I have always a**umed that the reason why girls go to the toilet in packs was to compare their brazilian waxes and feel how smooth the other ones' are, or maybe again that's just my twisted self speaking on what should be happening... 8O
You might be onto somethin!!
She buys a new G-String before she shows it to some random catsshe gotta know how it look what she do? Go to the Toilet with Lindiwe to ask if it look right.
The Gossip about people part is quite possibly the MOST obvious and least intriguing we know bitch is always talking foul bout each other. But I have met two females comming out the toilet with a naughty Grin so PLEASE talking bout how cla** less Mimi is will not leave you grinning1
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azanian Souljahs,
This is a mystery to me too brothers amd sisters , maar it is true that most of what they do in there is open their beeks wide open, no matter if the b comparing waxes or hittin it, they still talkin!
Aluta Continua :idea: :arrow:
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i have made many trips to the ladies' toilets in my time and always with a lady who was willing and able. the gents' toilets just don't cut it for me - brothers always wanna wait around to see who's busy in the cubilcle, and for some strange reason ladies just don't mind. or maybe that's just the kind of places i find myself in - i have always a**umed that the reason why girls go to the toilet in packs was to compare their brazilian waxes and feel how smooth the other ones' are, or maybe again that's just my twisted self speaking on what should be happening... 8O
HMMMM...definately something to ponder on :wink:
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i have made many trips to the ladies' toilets in my time and always with a lady who was willing and able. the gents' toilets just don't cut it for me - brothers always wanna wait around to see who's busy in the cubilcle, and for some strange reason ladies just don't mind. or maybe that's just the kind of places i find myself in - i have always a**umed that the reason why girls go to the toilet in packs was to compare their brazilian waxes and feel how smooth the other ones' are, or maybe again that's just my twisted self speaking on what should be happening... 8O
HMMMM...definately something to ponder on :wink:
Help us then Nthabi why do you guys do that?
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i have made many trips to the ladies' toilets in my time and always with a lady who was willing and able. the gents' toilets just don't cut it for me - brothers always wanna wait around to see who's busy in the cubilcle, and for some strange reason ladies just don't mind. or maybe that's just the kind of places i find myself in - i have always a**umed that the reason why girls go to the toilet in packs was to compare their brazilian waxes and feel how smooth the other ones' are, or maybe again that's just my twisted self speaking on what should be happening... 8O
HMMMM...definately something to ponder on :wink:
Help us then Nthabi why do you guys do that?
souljah might have a point here 8O
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... women do it because its no big deal...
men avoid it for fear of their latent homoerotocism....
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[quote="Deacon Frost
HMMMM...definately something to ponder on :wink:[/quote]
Help us then Nthabi why do you guys do that?[/quote]
souljah might have a point here 8O[/quote]
I actually don't have a straight answer.It's just one of those things that happen I guess. You know...like it's no biggie for girls to hold hands and kiss and ish. Just like it's no biggie for them to go to the toilet together.
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sunshine writes:
men avoid it for fear of their latent homoerotocism....
errrr, nope!
you see I have no latent homoeroticism - i used to go to the toilet with my boys. i don't do it anymore because i have completed my fact-finding mission, meaning i now know who's dick is smaller than mine meaning that i can rightfully pursue their women in the knowledge that my dick is bigger. and also because it's just gay to do so these days.
it's only permissible to go to the toilet with other guys only during a road trip and you all have to piss on the side of the road and see who's cannon can squirt the furthest (purely a fact-finding mission). :wink: 8)
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sunshine writes:
men avoid it for fear of their latent homoerotocism....
errrr, nope!
you see I have no latent homoeroticism - i used to go to the toilet with my boys. i don't do it anymore because i have completed my fact-finding mission, meaning i now know who's dick is smaller than mine meaning that i can rightfully pursue their women in the knowledge that my dick is bigger. and also because it's just gay to do so these days.
it's only permissible to go to the toilet with other guys only during a road trip and you all have to piss on the side of the road and see who's cannon can squirt the furthest (purely a fact-finding mission). :wink: 8)
GEEZ....
If I was a man, I'd never leave my girl alone with you....
HOME-WRECKER :evil:
Just messing with you babes :wink:
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[quote="Deacon Frost
HMMMM...definately something to ponder on :wink:
Help us then Nthabi why do you guys do that?[/quote]
souljah might have a point here 8O[/quote]
I actually don't have a straight answer.It's just one of those things that happen I guess. You know...like it's no biggie for girls to hold hands and kiss and ish. Just like it's no biggie for them to go to the toilet together.[/quote]
So Do you hug and kiss your friends?
I got a friend of mine that i'd like you to meet and become friends with. She is particularly fond of kisssing her friends too
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I have to agree with blaqsouljah, its got nothing to do latent homoeroticism when it comes to guys EVERY guy has once been in a changing room with other guys running around naked, I think the male homophobia issue is highly exergeratted. I went to boarding school and showered with naked guys for years, I worked in a mine for sometime so seeing dick is nothing to me( NO f***ING HOMO !!)
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Now why am I not surprised that you'd suggest such a thing :?
As always, you twisted my words to suite your little naughty ideas.
Why do you want me to meet your friend...HMMMM :?
Yes I do hug and kiss my friends but it is in no way sexaul :wink:
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Yes I do hug and kiss my friends but it is in no way sexaul :wink:
(http://www.masterpiecepumpkins.com/Graphics/DrEvil%20_orig.JPG)
RIIIIIIIIIIGHT
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:roll: :roll: :roll:
WHATEVA MAN!
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Dear all,
Just to allay all fears- women do not have a secret society that's based in public lavs. You need a wing commander at all times..get my drift. Its guerilla warfare out there. U need unequivocal defence from that uncouth cat who has been scoping you the whole night and moves to molest your a** if you fall under the radar- you rightly pointed out brick that this is unique to public appearences... Cant be caught flying solo...its a logistical nightmare. Group efforts are just to minimise colateral damage. We cant all go out
plus, you need someone to confirm every so often that all 'bits' are on point
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melanin latte writes:
... You need a wing commander at all times..get my drift. ... Cant be caught flying solo...its a logistical nightmare. Group efforts are just to minimise colateral damage....
...plus, you need someone to confirm every so often that all 'bits' are on point
and i still fail to see the difference between this and having someone to feel your fanny and tell you that your brazilian is smooth enough, or that your mohican is just not working for you. i don't know hey - all you seemed to have done is apply technical terms to copping a feel in the loo!!
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...and while we're on the topic of copping a feel - my question is to all the ladies: does it feel as good for the ladies to cop a feel at a guy's tool as it is for many guys to grab a hold of random naked fanny? i don't know - just asking. some girls seem totally averse to the thought of holding the tool. the tool is your friend - make peace with it and your life will be easier.
i know! i know! there's a requisite etiquette to copping a feel, namely: warm hands and short nails. i did my homework!!!
so ladies does it feel good? 8O :wink:
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yeah! I mean I can't WAIT to cop a feel of the cat or the udders, but females be mad scared to touch the man tool, I mean if she can't touch it how she gonna do anything to it.
I take(used to, now i leave it to the youngens) her by the hand and make her hold that f***er shit! bitch if you aint gonna hold it who will.
But I suppose our suspitions were right they go together and steal feels and kiss and rub each other up, Shit what i'd give for a invisibility cloak1
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I don't know what kind of girls you know, i know the kind that will touch it..bring it...pay it...watch it... turn it... leave it... and still stop to format that shit... turn your page on the spot and then ask you ...what???
as for copping feels- girls dont need bathrooms for that- we can do that anywhere, (jeans or no Jeans mind you) and very tastefully so.
bet you you've seen it and not even known it- brick, watch closely (the ditzy ones especially- no such thing as a ditz) and all your complicated bra woes will vanish soon as they present themselves.
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I don't know what kind of girls you know, i know the kind that will touch it..bring it...pay it...watch it... turn it... leave it... and still stop to format that shit... turn your page on the spot and then ask you ...what???
as for copping feels- girls dont need bathrooms for that- we can do that anywhere, (jeans or no Jeans mind you) and very tastefully so.
bet you you've seen it and not even known it- brick, watch closely (the ditzy ones especially- no such thing as a ditz) and all your complicated bra woes will vanish soon as they present themselves.
wow what I'd give to hang with you for a day!
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oh my god melanin latte - could you be the girl of my wetdreams? i think i love you - marry me tomorrow!!! :lol:
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cum on dude, r u gonna finish this so very intersting story or what?
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cum on dude, r u gonna finish this so very intersting story or what?
I will don't worry its just I am a bit busy, and I am dyslexic so I takes a long time to write down my thoughts
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So we return from that little interesting loo encounter. We sit and the Mutual friend comes and asks me very strange question, she asked me weather Mpumi and I had gone to the toilet together, to which I said yes, coz shit I did. And she asks me what did you guys do in there, well obviously I could not tell her that we giggled like two little girls practiced kissing. So I told her “nothing…. you know” and she was like dude I really need to speak to you right now and we walked outside to the balcony where she starts to tell all sorts of shit talking bout I hope strapped on she the village bike etc etc and I was like nah it aint even like that we did not have sex if that what you think and pop, she asks if I am gay…befuddled I said I don’t think so, the she says well you and your friend have a weird relationship its unusual a guy and a girl don’t go to the toilet together, then she walks off.
I regain composure and suddenly I felt a bit weird like everyone was watching me.
I watch as the mutual friend as another of her friends giggle and scamper away together to the toilet. I KNOW they were talking about me in the toilet coz when they came back the girl who had gone in the toilet with the mutual friend started to pay some attention to me like suddenly oh I see you. I proceed to go find out what it is that has captured her interest. Gimme a drink and I tell anybody anything.
Me: So was good information?
Her: Excuse me?
Me : Hi my name is briCK
Her: Hi brett
Me: brrrrrrrrriCK as you can see I am black Brett is a white persons name
Her: That’s a strange name
Me: yeah, so what were girls gossiping about me in the toilet?
Her: xcuse me?
Me: Look sis I got no time for 100 questions what did she say about me
Her: Who?
Me: You know who
Her: Oh when I first came in I saw you sitting with that girl and I thought she was your girl
Me: go on
Her: I saw you go to the toilet together and figured…well
Me: you saw that huh?
Her: EVERYONE saw that
Her But I found out that you were not going out and that you did not have sex so I am intrigued by you
Me: You think I am gay don’t you
Her: Not at all, any man who can get that close to any woman is intriguing
Yep you guessed it guess who had suddenly f***ing brought negative attention to himself.
After about 2 hour Mpumi once again want to go to the toilet, now you must understand my head was somewhere else, so she pulls my hand and we run off to the toilet.
She is very cognitive when she is drunk so you can hardly tell I am loud and freestyly when I am drunk so we enter the toilet and all the time like I said my head was else where.
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Well I had managed to find myself a rubber from somewhere I was drunkish and when I am drunk I wanna have sex, so here we are in the toilet she is jumping up and down all exited going talking about something.
All the niggaz out there think I am horny bastard and the girls think I am wierd and i tink well f*** Mpumi looks kinda prettier than usual, and shit I got a rubber, so I start unzipping her jeans and she slaps my hand
He: What you doing?
Me: :? thought you wanted to pee?
Her :?
Me :?
Her: :? what gave you that Idea?
Me: :? The f*** we doing in a toilet then?
So well I kinda leaned over to kiss her and she was like What you doing?
So you know if a female asks you what you doing well it often means say it with me naw.."AINT GON BE NO f***ING TONIGHT"
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Male logic is see a naked female I get honey so I a**ume if a female sees a naked male she get horny too right right?
Shit so i figure I need to piss anyway so let me kill two birds with one stone flash my too get her horny quick shag and I'm out and well relive myself...
Should have seent her FACE...She then screams WHAT ARE YOU DOING I HOPE YOU DON"T INTEND TO PISS WHILE I AM IN THE TOILET... :?
I ignore her crazy a** and proceed to pee!
finish my business pull the seat down and tell her to cop a squat!
Coz We were NOT leaving the toilet before a few questions were asked and answered.
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Now In My head I had awakened to reality of this travesty which is the relationship between me and Mpumi. We hug, we kiss(not affectionaly), we giggle, we run around like a bunch of girls and it hit me! this bitch thinks i'm a bitch too. :x look there is nothing wrong with being female but f*** I aint no Bitch you know, it comes hitting me a f***ing two tonne tampon you have gotten too close to this woman and she has done shit to you, you a few inches away from a pony tail and walking around the mall.
Like i have explained I don't know when it happened but it started off innocently as genuine research into the female like a practical a**ignement now here I am standing in a toilet with a woman who thinks having sex with me is popesterous, and not only that got a room full of females who are "intrugued" my a**! and some niggaz that are one some God knows what they thinking as long as they not thinking about I could give two shits about another mans thoughts.
Wierd to say the least
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damn bwoy!! that is some other shit right there.
i mean what is wrong with women? i tell you the moment you don't show interest in them they think you gay, chill with them for a minute and they a**ume you're gay, you try to hit on them - you're trying to hard to not look gay, but at the end of the day you're as gay as guys in a debating team. what's up with that? women need to get their shit straight i say. i was once asked by a chick if i was gay because she and her friends had never seen me walking with a girl - and this was in university. this made me smile not because of anything else but the fact that i had managed to f*** so many of the girls without anyone finding out. but then the guys started on that same line too - f***ing homos.
briCK, i almost had a similar problem with this one soviet heffer - she tried to make me her girlfriend. i told her i wanna f*** her until her eyes bleed and she ran for cover - i aint going down like that (wish there was a pun in the statement - but sadly there aint). at present i've got girlfriends i'm close to, but then they have seen what i'm capable of given half the opportunity so they wouldn't dare invite me to the toilet with them. i'm an honest dude, sometimes, so i let them know what's what. but i say you should flip the script on this chick uMpumi, make her your boy. talk about chicks and make her call them for you and ask for their numbers on your behalf - that will really send her over the edge. i've noticed girls don't mind when they turn us into their sistas, but as soon as we flip the script - they just can't handle it and get all jealous and shit. 8O
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what fronters...just hook up if you want, and say so if u aint wit it. why must boys always act like caged animals at the hands of girls. free will nucka!!! heard o' dat? you probably just stuck around cus u convinced yourself that you could override her game and still hit it, then you opened your eyes to find you f***ed around and got turned into a girlfriend...u let her not only touch down, but also do her victory dance in your endzone...
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thats what i'm saying, see its like this, for awhile I was like f*** this shit i aint trna be friends with her no more but in all honesty she has taught me shit I would have never otherwise known you dig? so yeah I decided to put her back on the payroll. She got good taste, she has money to splash.
Problem is she is tooo effeminate, she can't be one of the boys AT ALL, she is on some giggle run around wear a flower on her head type tip there is no reforming her. I just think I have to let her be.
Trust me her and I are gon be f*** mates very very soon I have sampled the merchandise and yeah i think its the truff!!
Nig PM me you number sometime next week.... we should hang!
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what fronters...just hook up if you want, and say so if u aint wit it. why must boys always act like caged animals at the hands of girls. free will nucka!!! heard o' dat? you probably just stuck around cus u convinced yourself that you could override her game and still hit it, then you opened your eyes to find you f***ed around and got turned into a girlfriend...u let her not only touch down, but also do her victory dance in your endzone...
THAT f***!
I like!