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Hip Hop Forums => General Discussion => Topic started by: cash on August 13, 2008, 09:14:47 AM
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Yo i love my name and i wudnt change it for the world, but DAMN,theres a hell of a lot of Sipho Jokes man! hahahhahaha!
Niggas is always emailin me Sipho jokes.
so i just decided to take the shots like a man and poke fun at myself today....and allow errbody to get they ETHER on for GOOD LAUGHS n FUN for a change!
Please post ur SIPHO JOKES here! :D
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I aint never heard a single Sipho joke my whole life... Care to share some of the ones you've received?
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I googled some and too my amazement it would appeat that Sipho is the new Van Der Merwe
Sipho is buying a TV and asks "Do you have colour TVs?"
"Sure" says the a**istant.
Sipho replies "Give me a green one, please."
Sipho calls SAA. "How long does it take to fly to New York?"
"Just a sec" says the rep.
"Thank you" says Sipho and hangs up.
Sipho was filling in an application form for a job.
He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column SALARY EXPECTED: He was not sure as to what to be filled here. After much thought he wrote "Yes!"
Sipho goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies "That is a thermos flask."
Sipho then asks "What does it do?"
The clerk responds "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold.
Sipho says "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His boss, Mr Ndlovu sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object you have?" He said, "It's a thermos." The boss then says "What does it do?"
He replies "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said "Wow, what do you have in it?"
Sipho replies "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
Why did 18 of Sipho's family members go to a movie?
Because under 18 was not allowed.
To lose weight the doctor told Sipho to run eight kilometers a day for 300 days.
After 300 days Sipho called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm 2400 Kms from home."
Having lost his donkey Sipho got down to his knees and started
Thanking God.
A pa**er-by saw him and asked "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?"
Sipho replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too!
Sipho got his 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate...
Mother: Xhosa.
Father: Zulu
Kid: Chinese.
"How come you write 'Chinese' when both parents are Black?"
"Aah" says Sipho "I read in a newspaper that every 4th person born in the world now is Chinese!"
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THess jokes are terrible.. But not as bad as the Skinwalkers movie
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hahahaha! ya**is Nyambs! the Sipho jokes just keep coming man! im surprized uve never heard one ever!
Even in highschool i remember niggas ethering me with Sipho jokes ;D
lol @
To lose weight the doctor told Sipho to run eight kilometers a day for 300 days.
After 300 days Sipho called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm 2400 Kms from home."
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Yeah.. I missed them.. It must have been a post 94 transformation. Van Der Merwe was found not to be BEE compliant and was affirmitively replaced by Sipho.
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Having lost his donkey Sipho got down to his knees and started
Thanking God.
A pa**er-by saw him and asked "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?"
Sipho replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too!
This one is a killer for me. ;D ;D
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that is some funny ish!!!!!! u need to start a facebook group!!
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One day Sipho was enjoying the sun at the beach in South Africa. A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing?"
Sipho answered, "No, I am Sipho."
Another guy came and asked him the same question.
Sipho answered, "No! No! Me Sipho!"
A third one came and asked him the same question again.
Sipho was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw a certain guy soaking in the sun. He went up to
him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?"
This guy was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing." Sipho slapped him in his face and said, "Stupid, idiot.
Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"
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(http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd131/TheGoIsWin/FacePalm.jpg)
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;D heres a ripper i jus got from a colleague at work ;D
"Hey Sipho! I have a cow for you for just R500!" "E yoh, Bongani! I'll take it - you can bring it to me tomorrow!"
The next day: "Sorry Sipho, but the cow died last night ." "Hauw.. So, ok then. Just give me my money back." "Sorry Sipho, I did already spent that money.." "Eish! So, ok then. Just bring me the dead cow."
So, Bongani brought the dead cow to Sipho the next morning. A few weeks later, Bongani bumped into Sipho and asked him what he did with the dead cow: "You won't believe, Bongani! I made a raffle for the cow, and I sold 251 tickets for R5 each! I made a profit of R850! But, I didn't tell anyone the cow was dead.."
"Yoh! And the people they didn't complain?" "Eish! Only the guy which won! So, I gave him back his R5 and he was happy!"
Sipho is now in parliament.. HOLA B.E.E!!!!
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:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
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(http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd131/TheGoIsWin/FacePalm.jpg)
oh sipho ::) ::)
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;Dlol. jus a lil humour for a change ;D :D :D ;D
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who do you actually think you are? even moderators seem to be so into your crap so much that they even do any shit you request. this gives me a reason to belive that these moderators are nothing but fake nutheads who know nothing abt their job but knows a lot abt doing and talking crap...whci of course is directed to a person of their same calibor......this is starting to get out of hand
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Sipho had a bad attendance record with the company he worked for,
particularly being late for work in the morning. He was called to a
disciplinary hearing where he was given a chance to explain his reasons.
His argument: "I get up in de morning. I shower, I look in de mirror and
try to straiten my hair. Den I sumtimes miss de texi and den I am late."
His boss had a bright idea. He gets one of Sipho's colleagues to sneak
into Sipho's room and steal the mirror off the wall, without Sipho's
knowledge. The following day Sipho does not turn up for work. The same
happens the day after that. So Sipho gets summoned to another hearing
to explain his reasons for not attending work. His argument: "I get up in
de morning. I shower, I look in de mirror. I see no Sipho. I think
Sipho already left for work"
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who do you actually think you are? even moderators seem to be so into your crap so much that they even do any shit you request. this gives me a reason to belive that these moderators are nothing but fake nutheads who know nothing abt their job but knows a lot abt doing and talking crap...whci of course is directed to a person of their same calibor......this is starting to get out of hand
please man, just post a joke and lets have some laughs,theres no BEEF in this thread
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Someone just emailed me this and i think it also belongs in here.... ;D :
THE "NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE" BRIGADE HAS ALOT TO ANSWER TO SIPHO!!!
Sipho gets married, and on his wedding night he calls his Father for some tips on what to do, since he has never been with a woman before.
"So, what do I do first?"
His father: "Take her clothes off and lay her on the bed."
5 minutes later Sipho's on the phone again. "She's naked and in bed, what do I do now?"
His father can't believe what he is hearing, "Take your damn clothes off and get into bed with her."
After another 5 minutes poor Sipho is on the phone again. "Dad, I'm naked and in bed with her, what do I do now?" His dad's patience is now running thin so he says, "Shit son, do I have to spell everything out for you?
Just put the hardest thing on your body where she pees. Good night!!!"
Just when the old man starts snoring, His son is on the phone once again.
"Ok Dad, I have my head in the toilet bowl what do I do next?"
"DROWN YOURSELF YOU BLOODY IDIOT!"
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Sipho's sister is pregnant and was in a bad car accident, which caused
her
to fall into a deep coma.
After nearly six months, she awakens and sees that she is no longer
pregnant.
Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.The doctor replies,
Ma'am,
you had twins - a boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came
in
and named them.'
The woman thinks to herself,'Oh no! Not Sipho; He's an idiot!'
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor,'Well, what's the girl's
name?' 'Denise,' the doctor answers.
The new mother thinks, 'Wow! That's a beautiful name! I guess I was
wrong about my brother. I really like the name Denise.'
Then she asks the doctor, 'What's the boy's name?
'Denephew...'