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Hip Hop Forums => General Discussion => Topic started by: The Angry Hand of God on October 01, 2009, 02:07:04 PM
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So, I walk out of the office to get some lunch from my favourite Chinese joint.
Along the way I pa** these people handing out flyers. They were all rocking some Jesus t-shirts, and this one was very hot. This hotness made me take the flyer from her.
Then as I keep going, I toss it in a bin (I hate littering). Apparently some of these Jesus-freaks see me doing this and three of them come to me and ask me if I have accepted Jesus as my saviour. I keep it moving, cos I am not interested. Then two of the three (a guy and a girl) start walking beside me and start going on about How Jesus is the only person who can save blah, blah, blah.
Me: I'm not Christian, so I'm really not interested, thanks.
Them: What are you? Do you know that the only way into heaven is through Jesus? Worshipping any other God is against god and you will be doomed to hell.
Me: Like I said, not Christian, so don't care.
Them: You don't care that you won't go to heaven? Please accept Jesus, cos he is the only one who can save you from hell.
Me: Okay, first of all, Jesus couldn't even save himself from those Romans beating the living shit out of him and nailing him to a stake. I wouldn't want someone like that watching my back, cos that shit sounds painful as f***.
Second, Your entire religion is based on fabrications created more than a century after the death of your supposed saviour and a bunch of misinterpretations and misquotes from Jewish scripture, which you in your Christian arrogance believe you know more about than the Jews themselves.
f*** your heaven.
Them: we'll pray for you
Me: Yeah, whatever...
I felt really bad for doing this, cos the one chick was nice as hell (see what I did there?) and I wouldn't mind seeing her again and converting her to my way of life.
My problem with Christianity is this: Why is it okay for Christians to stand around condemning everyone else who doesn't believe in their version of what is right and wrong to hell? Why are they so quick to jump on their high horse whenever they perceive the smallest slight against their religion? They cause people to lose their jobs for simply implying that Satanism, as a valid religion, should be afforded the same respect as Christianity (Deon Maas). They get shit banned and drag people to court for slandering their god.
Then when they say shit like your god can send you to hell and your god is basically a worthless piece of shit in their eyes, no one does a thing?
I have never heard of Jews or Muslims trying to convert people to their faith. Even in Saudi Arabia, you are allowed to practice your faith in private, as long as you don't trnasgress any of the laws which govern the country and odn't try to convert any muslims.
Christians really piss me off sometimes.
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Oh Jesus. And I mean that in the widest sense of the word. But as you well know Pyro, you're in the wrong place to be moaning about Christians. AG is not known for being a hotbed of atheism.
Yes, evangelical Christians should be shot. No, you won't go to hell for doing so. And no, there is nothing you can do to stop more spawning like chittering chest-bursting aliens.
Great story though, grandpa. ;D
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my friend does mini missions (students evangelizing on campus),just the other day she told me a story about running into a guy who sounded...exactly like you,lol.
and just as hilarious too...
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I felt really bad for doing this, cos the one chick was nice as hell (see what I did there?)
Lol, I see what you did there. Personally i would've went further. "As hot as hell"... ;D
Anyway, I've given up trying to get Christians to question their religion. There is nothing wrong with belief and faith. However, I can't tolerate a religion that denounces every other belief for the sake of progressing their own.
Now, I just ignore them. When i'm feeling daring, i make hissing sounds like i'm being exorcised. When i'm even more daring i put my two index fingers together in the shape of a cross and yell "Protect me heavenly father. They are here to get me!"
All of the above usually work.
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I felt really bad for doing this, cos the one chick was nice as hell (see what I did there?)
Lol, I see what you did there. Personally i would've went further. "As hot as hell"... ;D
Anyway, I've given up trying to get Christians to question their religion. There is nothing wrong with belief and faith. However, I can't tolerate a religion that denounces every other belief for the sake of progressing their own.
Now, I just ignore them. When i'm feeling daring, i make hissing sounds like i'm being exorcised. When i'm even more daring i put my two index fingers together in the shape of a cross and yell "Protect me heavenly father. They are here to get me!"
All of the above usually work.
does this work on jehovah's witnesses?
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I felt really bad for doing this, cos the one chick was nice as hell (see what I did there?)
Lol, I see what you did there. Personally i would've went further. "As hot as hell"... ;D
Anyway, I've given up trying to get Christians to question their religion. There is nothing wrong with belief and faith. However, I can't tolerate a religion that denounces every other belief for the sake of progressing their own.
Now, I just ignore them. When i'm feeling daring, i make hissing sounds like i'm being exorcised. When i'm even more daring i put my two index fingers together in the shape of a cross and yell "Protect me heavenly father. They are here to get me!"
All of the above usually work.
does this work on jehovah's witnesses?
Nothing short of pure hydrochloric acid and/or napalm work on Jehovah's Witnesses.
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My mom and grandma are Jehova's witnesses. I grew up as one, so I know their MO. You just have to show them that you know the bible as well, or better than they do and then start messing with their heads.
Usually I wouldn't mind a little back and forth with these people, but not when I have been having a bad day, I am hungry and I told you that I am not interested.
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"If u are scared, go to Church"- Ice Cube
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“All religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few.” Napoleon
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lmao @ pyro
i can relate to what pyro is saying and i can absolutely comprehend your actions against those christians. you have to agree guys, christains are the most ignorant and self centred people in the face of the earth. what completely annoys me is the fact that they dont listen to you when you tell them to f*** off, its like one is compelled to live a christian life, i thought god himself said christianity is completely a personal choice [just an a**umption]
ive had heated arguemnets with many christian dudes and at many instances the arguments almost went phycsical, like arent they supposed to back off when you tell them to, no one must be forced to worship god as christianity is a personal choice. though pyor was wrong for using such rude terminology but i cosign how he handled the situation.
christians dig this......we got our own got, we drink booze and f*** women reckles every night when we go clubbing, thats awsome and cool and when we die, we gonna go to heaven and chill with god on the vip corner whilst smoiking fat blunts
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yo , my woman was once part of them jehova's witnessess before i got my way with her. everytime we happen to have touched on this religious topic she gets angry at me.
i started reading a bible when she moved in but i always question shit and i tell u now that she hates her former church and she don't attend church not no more.
jehova's witnessess discard women if they fall pregnant outta wedlock, u is not to have contact wud ya fam or sum shit like that..... but what about the men who f*** around outta wedlock, just cos they haven't got sum1 pregnant it's still deemed cool?? they rite and the women is wrong to be f***ed?!?!?!
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Lol @ Pyro.
You even have time to entertain them.
I just tell them I ain't a christian I don't believe in Jesus and I don't want to hear ish.
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Co-sign with pyro.
These dudes piss me off at times man, I went to this one church around this side, this was in march, the first time I was there they took numbers and address, thought it was going to be used for a statistic database(big mistake). So okay cool, they explain that they have service on wednesday night and all and that u free to come if u wish, cool, I understand all this. Wednesday comes, I can't make it coz I get home late + tird, just like every wednesday night. sunday comes, I have to go out to some meeting, so I don't make church, its all cool on my side, I go when I can. Its a choice I make in the morning like 30mins before service starts, so that sunday at around 12, they call me. "Hi, we noticed you were not in church, why was that"
Please read that with caution... The broad asked me why is that???!!! WTF, is it me or there is something wrong with that statement?
Okay, so I tell her I had to work, and that I must go now coz I'm still at work. Cool. Drop the line, 8pm same day she calls again, tells me we never got the chance to finish the call earlier during the day, I'm like "okay?? Cool??"
She starts telling me that I must come to church before anything else wara wara, that before myself I must put God. So I was like okay cool, and she tunes wednesday I must come to service so they can pray for to stop sinin...
Wednesday comes, I miss the service again, I mean inm tird + I think I was a lil wasted that day. So next morning she calls me and tells me I missed again..... WTF.....
I tell her I will come when I please, she now starts telling me how us youndstars and bad and we sin all the time, we gonna be punished, we have no respect... This damn broad is 3/5 years older than me, the way I see it, we in the same age era.
That day I learnt to block a line, but I mean, is that something one must go thru? For missing church? Mxm, sometimes these kats are ust amazing.
I can provide church name and whatnot for kats who wanna keep away!!
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All I can say is that...God is alive and was still there and he's still here.
Everything that has happened and that is still happening, days has been prophesied in the bible.
I always say that if there was one religion, everything would be so much better.
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All I can say is that...God is alive and was still there and he's still here.
Everything that has happened and that is still happening, days has been prophesied in the bible.
I always say that if there was one religion, everything would be so much better.
And that one religion would be...what exactly? Be specific here.
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All I can say is that...God is alive and was still there and he's still here.
Everything that has happened and that is still happening, days has been prophesied in the bible.
I always say that if there was one religion, everything would be so much better.
I can already tell that you're going to try to advocate Christianity as the one and only true religion and if we all worshipped you god things would be good. I am pre-empting this, by posting this:
(http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/69228825/3873617)
(http://memeparty.com/i/a02bdfd4fb4c81e1420b81dbd1ab4556.jpg)
(http://www.foulmouthshirts.com/T_SHIRT_DESIGNS/images/f***-your-god.jpg)
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:D :D yo pyro I'll be posting this in a few minutes inside the comics section as soon as I finish uploading it
(http://img.openablog.net/sv7/images/000f739bj.jpg)
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Pyro did you once mention that you are a satanist?
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yo i dont give a f*** about religion really...more blood spill over that ish than anything else yo...i was born again and backslid but i know the real...been in to many situations to say that god is not real nor his son..however the mother f***ers always try and make you doubt your beliefs and test yo faith like sayin the mayans were the true peeps...oooooh!!@!! this is that ish i dont need in my life niccas..times are tuff and peeps still trippin on "make your life right with the lord"...nicca...the lord is omnipresent and he knows your life before it even got started so he knows why im puffin weed he knows why im freaky in bed and he knows that i killed someone ...oops..but ya!
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Laveyan Satanism... Google it.
I don't worship Satan or anyone else.
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Laveyan Satanism... Google it.
I don't worship Satan or anyone else.
was just checking..i know the difference between theistic and laveyan...and i have read on laveyan satanism before but what i have always failed to understand is why the use of the word "satanism" if you don't worship satan.perhaps you guys should chage the name of your belief system to just laveyan or laveyanism
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Laveyan Satanism... Google it.
I don't worship Satan or anyone else.
was just checking..i know the difference between theistic and laveyan...and i have read on laveyan satanism before but what i have always failed to understand is why the use of the word "satanism" if you don't worship satan.perhaps you guys should chage the name of your belief system to just laveyan or laveyanism
The intent is to mock Christianity for their tendency to blame Satan for their natural (and sometimes just weird) urges and actions.
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Laveyan Satanism... Google it.
I don't worship Satan or anyone else.
was just checking..i know the difference between theistic and laveyan...and i have read on laveyan satanism before but what i have always failed to understand is why the use of the word "satanism" if you don't worship satan.perhaps you guys should chage the name of your belief system to just laveyan or laveyanism
The intent is to mock Christianity for their tendency to blame Satan for their natural (and sometimes just weird) urges and actions.
people don't really take this 'religion' seriously do they?
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Laveyan Satanism... Google it.
I don't worship Satan or anyone else.
was just checking..i know the difference between theistic and laveyan...and i have read on laveyan satanism before but what i have always failed to understand is why the use of the word "satanism" if you don't worship satan.perhaps you guys should chage the name of your belief system to just laveyan or laveyanism
The intent is to mock Christianity for their tendency to blame Satan for their natural (and sometimes just weird) urges and actions.
people don't really take this 'religion' seriously do they?
It's not a religion as much as it is a lifestyle.
It's all about doing what feels good and not caring what anyone thinks or being guided by someone else's sense of morality. The only ironclad rule is similar to Christianity ironically. Do unto others...
as long as your fun and expression doesn't hurt anyone else, it is okay. It is just a kind of Hedonistic lifestyle, with a smidgen (I said smidgen) of religious ceremony, weant to poke fun of Christians.
an example is Black Ma**, which uses elements of catholic ma**, but f***s with it. Instead of an altar they use a naked woman lying on her back.
For the Eucharist, they dip wafer biscuits into a woman's naughty place and eat it, etc.
There is no belief in the supernatural. No God, no devil, no anything, except man and his carnal needs, which need to be satisfied.
Individualism.
What is not to be taken seriously about this?
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sure, most of it makes sense and it sounds fun. i just wanted to know if there's a ma** of people out there who rabidly identify as Laveyan Satanists - you know, people who follow the protocols and ceremony 'religiously'.
is there?
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I wouldn't know. If there are, they are idiots, because that would mean they are doing exactly what the "religion" set out to destroy, which is adhere to a doctrine which is meant to control. Sadly, since people are also inherently stupid, I wouldn't be surprised if there are folks like this.
I haven't met any though. I saw a cool episode of Tyra once, where Anton Lavey jr. The current high priest of the church of Satan was on.
He spoke about the religion and called a couple of "white witches" who claimed they practiced good magic, idiots for believing in rubbish like that.
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whoah...missed this whole satanism part...
must say i've never known anyone to openly admit this
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Here is a good explanation that I just found on Wikipedia:
Satan is said to appear in mythology and literature around the world as a trickster, rebel, and Figure seeking the destruction or slavery of man. Figures such as the Greek Prometheus are said to perfectly exemplify the qualities of Satan, the prideful rebel.[12] Satan is seen as the powerful individual who acts regardless of what others might say.[13] Also, the word satan is derived from the Hebrew for "adversary" or "accuser" (ha-satan). Thus, combining the traditional rebellious imagery a**ociated with Satan and other relative deities, together with the etymological aspect of the word itself, Satanists claim to be adversaries of mainstream behavior which they define as "herd conformity", seeing it as stifling to individuality, creativity, and progress.[14]
Satanists do not believe that Satan is a god; rather, the function of God is performed and satisfied by the Satanist him/herself. That is, the needs of worship, ritual, and religious/spiritual focus are directed, effectively, inwards towards the Satanist, as opposed to outwards towards a God.
LaVey proposes, instead, that if all gods are creations of humans, worship of an external deity is worship of its creator by proxy. He suggests, then, that the rational Satanists should instead internalize their gods and therefore worship themselves; hence the Satanic maxim, "I am my own god."
It follows that Satanism shuns the idea of belief in all other deities as well. Belief in any such externalized deities is generally considered grounds for excluding someone as a Satanist, and devil worship in particular is considered nothing more than a misguided inversion of Christianity, the practitioners of which being regarded as devil-worshipers, instead of Satanists.
There is more here for anyone interested.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LaVeyan_Satanism
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It's all really kinda silly to me.
As I see it, All... actually most (to be politically correct ::)) gods are based on fear and, in my opinion, weakness. You wanna insure your safety so you create this imaginary body guard who's high and mighty and above everyone else to protect you right, but if he DOES however let you die ::) :P he takes you to a place in the skies where everything is white, where there's no hip hop and everyone has funny mutations, which usually form on they back. stupid
And I think of satan as a personal scapegoat when you do bad stuff.
"I was possessed by Satan", best excuse I know if you wanna wild out and foam outya mouf lol.
And that LaveYan satanism or whatever.... stupid.
I HATE ma**, why would I wanna break away from it just to go and do it there aswell!!!??? I don't know man, which man with a half decent life would have time for all of this.
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I should create my own religion though.
it'll be J-oNE a lism. oh oh or better yet, spongyligionism. ye that's dope!
We will praise the MPC or any sampler of your choice, praise Bob James and other big sampled artists from 1960's-1980 and quit work to make music. Oh and composing is gay, it's the devil. Oh ya, and everyday at 16:00 CAT we will all gather at our homes no matter what you're doing and watch and episode of Spongebob (unless you got PVR obviously)
Ye that's a gangsta religion :)
Spongyligionism. We beat those other religions. (lol, he said 'beat' those other religions)
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And that LaveYan satanism or whatever.... stupid.
I HATE ma**, why would I wanna break away from it just to go and do it there aswell!!!??? I don't know man, which man with a half decent life would have time for all of this.
You just missed the entire point, so I a**ume you are an idiot.
You don't have to do anything you don't wanna. YOu are your own god. The Black Ma** is just a way to mock Christians. It is a fun escape. Who doesn't like having naked chicks around?
Read the Wiki link I posted, it will put it in perspective for you.
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@J-ONE, No HIP HOP!!! Don't be serious?? Any good woman?
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And that LaveYan satanism or whatever.... stupid.
I HATE ma**, why would I wanna break away from it just to go and do it there aswell!!!??? I don't know man, which man with a half decent life would have time for all of this.
You just missed the entire point, so I a**ume you are an idiot.
You don't have to do anything you don't wanna. YOu are your own god. The Black Ma** is just a way to mock Christians. It is a fun escape. Who doesn't like having naked chicks around?
Read the Wiki link I posted, it will put it in perspective for you.
Nah I'm good with Spongyligionism. But I'll give it a minute. Either way my religions better than yours, mine is the only one that is right and yours is wrong and the mpc is the only God that can save you from t-pain and composers, which previously stated are the devil.
lol seriously though, I'll give it a look
@J-ONE, No HIP HOP!!! Don't be serious?? Any good woman?
You want bitches like these right??
(http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:vxhxeZ1okFrCUM:http://lh3.ggpht.com/elaing.zhang/Rzg3xH3O69I/AAAAAAAAGmk/xgowRE1pPIE/s800/1518810356_3d62f14b3b_o.jpg)
(http://www.gizmodo.com/gadgets/images/mpc3etsuk.jpg)
See the power of the sampler God??
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pyro...seems to me you can do all those things (be the creative,non-conformist,individualistic,hedonistic person you want to be) the link you posted describes,without being a laveyan satanist?
what's the appeal then?the mocking christians part?the rituals?the shock-effect?
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pyro...seems to me you can do all those things (be the creative,non-conformist,individualistic,hedonistic person you want to be) the link you posted describes,without being a laveyan satanist?
what's the appeal then?the mocking christians part?the rituals?the shock-effect?
Of course. It is just for fun really. Like I said earlier, I don't know anyone who takes it seriously as an actual religion. Maybe in the states, where it is big and they have actual get togethers and ceremonies etc. but there again I think they have missed the whole point, unless it is just a get together to be able to meet with like-minded people.
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And that LaveYan satanism or whatever.... stupid.
I HATE ma**, why would I wanna break away from it just to go and do it there aswell!!!??? I don't know man, which man with a half decent life would have time for all of this.
You just missed the entire point, so I a**ume you are an idiot.
You don't have to do anything you don't wanna. YOu are your own god. The Black Ma** is just a way to mock Christians. It is a fun escape. Who doesn't like having naked chicks around?
Read the Wiki link I posted, it will put it in perspective for you.
Nah I'm good with Spongyligionism. But I'll give it a minute. Either way my religions better than yours, mine is the only one that is right and yours is wrong and the mpc is the only God that can save you from t-pain and composers, which previously stated are the devil.
lol seriously though, I'll give it a look
@J-ONE, No HIP HOP!!! Don't be serious?? Any good woman?
You want bitches like these right??
(http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:vxhxeZ1okFrCUM:http://lh3.ggpht.com/elaing.zhang/Rzg3xH3O69I/AAAAAAAAGmk/xgowRE1pPIE/s800/1518810356_3d62f14b3b_o.jpg)
(http://www.gizmodo.com/gadgets/images/mpc3etsuk.jpg)
See the power of the sampler God??
I would like to worship this god :o
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christianity was intended to be used as a regulation tool, to give humans invisible borders made by other humans
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I should create my own religion though.
spongyligionism. ye that's dope!
We will praise the MPC or any sampler of your choice, praise Bob James and other big sampled artists from 1960's-1980 and quit work to make music. Oh and composing is gay, it's the devil. Oh ya, and everyday at 16:00 CAT we will all gather at our homes no matter what you're doing and watch and episode of Spongebob (unless you got PVR obviously)
Ye that's a gangsta religion :)
Spongyligionism. We beat those other religions. (lol, he said 'beat' those other religions)
this is the only one that makes logic.....u already got followers J, lets start this!!....lol
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the mpc is the only God that can save you from t-pain and composers, which previously stated are the devil.
ha ha go Spongy
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And that LaveYan satanism or whatever.... stupid.
I HATE ma**, why would I wanna break away from it just to go and do it there aswell!!!??? I don't know man, which man with a half decent life would have time for all of this.
You just missed the entire point, so I a**ume you are an idiot.
You don't have to do anything you don't wanna. YOu are your own god. The Black Ma** is just a way to mock Christians. It is a fun escape. Who doesn't like having naked chicks around?
Read the Wiki link I posted, it will put it in perspective for you.
Nah I'm good with Spongyligionism. But I'll give it a minute. Either way my religions better than yours, mine is the only one that is right and yours is wrong and the mpc is the only God that can save you from t-pain and composers, which previously stated are the devil.
lol seriously though, I'll give it a look
@J-ONE, No HIP HOP!!! Don't be serious?? Any good woman?
You want bitches like these right??
(http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:vxhxeZ1okFrCUM:http://lh3.ggpht.com/elaing.zhang/Rzg3xH3O69I/AAAAAAAAGmk/xgowRE1pPIE/s800/1518810356_3d62f14b3b_o.jpg)
(http://www.gizmodo.com/gadgets/images/mpc3etsuk.jpg)
See the power of the sampler God??
I would like to worship this god :o
ay this god is very hard to ignore.
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the mpc is the only God that can save you from t-pain and composers, which previously stated are the devil.
ha ha go Spongy
co-sign Spoongy on getting saved from T-Pain...
Producer heads lets convert every rapper out there in hope to direct their lives into the right path, autotune is the wrong way... lets stretch a helping hand
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pyro...seems to me you can do all those things (be the creative,non-conformist,individualistic,hedonistic person you want to be) the link you posted describes,without being a laveyan satanist?
what's the appeal then?the mocking christians part?the rituals?the shock-effect?
Of course. It is just for fun really. Like I said earlier, I don't know anyone who takes it seriously as an actual religion. Maybe in the states, where it is big and they have actual get togethers and ceremonies etc. but there again I think they have missed the whole point, unless it is just a get together to be able to meet with like-minded people.
A "religion" made to diss religion. Yeaaaaaaaaa.......
It's all good clean fun, not like they're torturing people, burning witches, molesting children or anything like that.
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I've decided I'm gonna start a religion based on the spiritual worth of Pizza
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You'll have to wait your turn Deac. My religion's first in line. Besides, your bitches will all be obese so yours don't make much sense really.
All hail spongyligionism!
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Whats up with christians and thier American accents
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Whats up with christians and thier American accents
LOL!!!
its the "word"
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You'll have to wait your turn Deac. My religion's first in line. Besides, your bitches will all be obese so yours don't make much sense really.
All hail spongyligionism!
Hail pizza god
You just know some fundamentalists would kill each other over whether or not the crust should be thick or thin.
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Whats up with christians and thier American accents
TBN...
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You'll have to wait your turn Deac. My religion's first in line. Besides, your bitches will all be obese so yours don't make much sense really.
All hail spongyligionism!
Hail pizza god
You just know some fundamentalists would kill each other over whether or not the crust should be thick or thin.
lmao!!! word!