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Topics - The Angry Hand of God

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General Discussion / Starting to DJ
« on: August 06, 2011, 05:28:41 PM »
Ok, so this is inspired by MrC's thread and since I've been planning to invest in some DJ gear, I figured someone here (Raiko etc) could help.

What is the best to go with if you're looking to get into the DJing thing, without breaking the bank and where can you get it?

What are your opinions on those DJ/midi controller unit's such as the Vestax VCI-300 MKII or the Pioneer SEP-C1 Media Controller? Would you recommend these to someone who wants to learn to cut etc. and may not wanna do this professionally?

If not, what are the cheapest, best direct drive decks you would buy if you had to?

Looking for something I can play with if the need arises and do some gigs with, that will last and won't need me spending thousands on music and Serato etc., but still be able to use my collection of music.

General Discussion / Where can I get good Little girl head
« on: June 06, 2011, 09:24:35 AM »
-gear, to protect my niece's head when she's on her bicycle?

Let me know.

General Discussion / How to troll an ex-girlfriend
« on: May 06, 2011, 10:50:22 AM »
I was bored.

My friend almost ruined it when he pointed out the obvious trolling which was happening. Luckily she didn't notice.

Funny thing is, she knows I'm an atheist. I a**ume she forgot.

General Discussion / Sad songs
« on: April 20, 2011, 12:41:05 PM »
So, as those who know me know, I like nothing better than gathering up a bunch of depressed people and playing them one sad song after another.

What are your favourite sad hip hop joints ever?

I'm talking stuff like Immortal Technique's Dance with the Devil, Ghostface's All that I got, Last Emp and Grimm Reaper's One life and Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice baby.

Which songs make you think "damn! this dude should just slice his wrists"?

General Discussion / Check out these joints!
« on: April 14, 2011, 03:47:44 PM »

Humour / Jokes / A house that looks like Hitler
« on: April 04, 2011, 11:41:38 AM »

Media / Dude kills three with an axe in Durban
« on: March 30, 2011, 12:03:55 PM »

I would have done exactly the same. I fully support this guy.

General Discussion / Why so selious gaijin?!
« on: March 18, 2011, 01:49:59 PM »
The world is still reeling after the ma**ive earthquake and tsunami that hit Japan last week, and support for the Japanese people is pouring in from all over the globe.
Thousands died in the ma**ive tsunami that hit the South-Eastern coast of Japan last week and the official number of dead and missing stood at more than 15 000 today. Add to this the threat of a major nuclear disaster and Japanese people are rightly pissed off.
Mr. Hanzo Kokasaka, a former playboy, who lived in a nice beach house and pounded different beautiful women every night, could be found crying in a street in Miyaku City, Iwate Prefecture.
“I rost evelything! My house, my Ramborghini! Evelything!” he told journalists, who simply chuckled at the formerly rich bastard who now lives in one of the shelters erected for tsunami victims.
Weeboos, gamers, and other nerds are also extremely distressed, as the quake has affected their supplies of anime, manga, tentacle pron, video games and Hello Kitty merchandise.
Environmentalists and other hippies have used the disaster to push their retarded agenda against nuclear energy. Despite nuclear power being the cleanest, most fuel-efficient energy source available, they are using a one in a million disaster as a rallying point to demonise nuclear power plants.
“Nuclear energy is bad man,” one long-haired, smelly bastard said, while protesting in Tokyo. He said he would like to see all nuclear energy being “totally eradicated”. While asking for this, all these protesting hippies seem to lose sight of the fact that eradicating nuclear power would increase our dependency on fossil fuels, which is much more harmful to the environment.
They also lose sight of the fact that this is the first major nuclear disaster since Chernobyl.
When asked where he would get energy to power his iPod, Blackberry and laptop, he just stared blankly into space, while puffing on a joint.
While Japan rebuilds, many South Africans have pledged their support and organised marches in solidarity with the victims.
Students at the University of the Free State organised a march against earthquakes and tsunamis on Thursday. Wearing red t-shirts and anti-earthquake signs, approximately 300 students marched in the pouring rain, to show their solidarity with the people who also got totally soaked.
“Screw you earthquakes! Down with tsunamis!” they chanted while shaking their fists angrily at the skies.
The only role-players that have been completely quiet since the disaster, are tsunamis and earthquakes themselves.
In response to our request for comment tsunami replied via e-mail, saying: “I are strong and doesn’t afraid of anyone. f*** you!”
Earthquakes refused to comment.

General Discussion / Have you ever dick soaked?
« on: March 13, 2011, 10:06:59 PM »
I should probably start this thread with a "no homo", so no homo.

I got this off a blof I frequent. Have any of you ever heard of dick soaking?

In the Mormon faith couples who wish to engage in pre-marital activities but do not want to dishonor their faith use the dick soak method. The dick soak method occurs when the males erect member is placed inside the female vagina and lays still. This is the soaking process. The dick soak is a spiritual experience, it allows both partners to connect with each other at a deep level without going all the way. For a dick soak to occur the pa**ionately paused penis must not make a single movement in any direction. It must “soak.”

The amount of soaking needed in order to be an official dick soak is exactly proportionate to the time it would take a dirty dish to soak before being ready to scrub… or just before climax… whichever comes first.

note: If climax is reached during the soak it is no longer considered a dick soak, but sex.

General Discussion / Kuli Roberts
« on: March 01, 2011, 02:11:31 PM »
so, I see her column has been axed. Finally...

I have no qualms with being politically incorrect and pissing people off. I do have a problem with being a f***ing idiot though.

Who told this woman she can write? She showed her stupidity with the Anneli Botes saga, when she responded to a well written piece of racism by talking about beautiful black penises and sex.

Now she wrote her own piece of racist shit and finally people have realised she is retarded. Why did it take so long? How did she get the job in the first place?

General Discussion / Every little step Mike takes
« on: December 27, 2010, 03:46:11 PM »
Wayne Brady and Mike Tyson remake Booby Brown's every little step I take

f***ing hilarious:

General Discussion / The results of boredom
« on: December 22, 2010, 03:07:47 PM »
I was bored at work and have been trolling chatrooms and stuff
Here's one
Me: Is there anyone here?
Me: How long do people usually wait?
Me: How do you expect people to join if we have to wait so long?
Agent [Tiffani] is ready to a**ist you.
Tiffani: Merry Christmas!
Tiffani: How are you?
Me: I'm fine thank you
Me: How are you?
Me: Hello
Me: You're palying around Tiffani
Me: playing
Me: Are you upset that your parents couldn't spell Tiffany and now you are taking it out on me, by wasting time?
Tiffani: I'm fine. What brings you to
Me: I would just like to know a little more about the religion
Me: Cos I am considering becoming a Merman
Me: tick tock
Me: tick
Me: tcok
Me: tock
Me: hello
Me: hi
Me: Hey again
Me: Hello there
Me: hi
Me: How are you?
Tiffani: Do you have a sincere question related to religion that we can discuss?
Me: I would like to know what the merman stance is on polygamy
Me: Hi there
Me: Hello
Me: Anyone there?
Me: Are you ignoring me because I'm black?
Tiffani: Mormons don't practice polygamy.
Tiffani: If you can't be serious, I will close the chat...
Me: I'm being serious, but you are taking forever to answer me.
Me: But then why have I read about polygamous merman sects in Salt Lake etc?
Me: And I have heard of numerous occasions of such things happening, so it made me wonder what the official stance is.
Tiffani: We don't practice polygamy those groups are not a part of our faith. Click here for more information.
Me: Okay.
Me: That link doesn't work
Me: I am asking this, because I am in a polygamous relationship and due to my culture as a virile black man, I would like to continue this. Other parts of your religion do still interest me too.
Me: Would there be objections to me being polygamous?
Tiffani: Those who are members who practice polygamy become excommunicated from the church.
Me: Okay.
Tiffani: Here's a better link.
Me: So, what is your stance on evolution?
Me: Thanks
Me: Evolution?
Me: and also, how many Mermen are there worldwide?
Tiffani: What kind of evolution? And there are almost 14 million members.
Me: Whoah! That's a lot
Me: Evolution, as in the evolution of one specie into a higher or lower lifeform, through changes in its environment and adaptation
Me: so, where do you hide all of them, since I have only ever seen Mermen on TV and in books? I'm sure I would have seen them if there are so many.
Me: You there?
Me: Are you ignoring me?
Me: This is so rude
Tiffani: The church doesn't have an official stance on evolution we know God created the earth but we don't know how. But here's a statement about the orgin of man.
Me: Okay.
Me: So, how do you become a Merman then?
Tiffani: A person listens to the missionaries and then accepts the teachings and is baptized.
Me: And when do you get your fins and stuff?
Tiffani: We don't get fins.
Me: Huh?
Me: And gills?
Me: Do you have to pay for your own fins and gills?
Me: And where are they attached?
Me: I mean, who does the surgery?
Tiffani: I don't know know what you are talking about.
Me: I a**ume you are female, right?
Me: Have you been baptised and everything?
Tiffani: yes
Tiffani: and yes
Me: So, do you have your fins and gills?
Me: Cos you said to become a Merman, I should get baptised and stuff.
Me: Or do you have to do more?
Tiffani: We're Mormons not mermans
Me: Cos, I really wanna live under the sea and marry a mermaid. I love seafood and would love to eat it everyday
Me: Are there more mermaids than Mermen?
Tiffani: Do you have a sincere question related to religion that we can discuss?
Me: I thought we were discussing a sincere question, but now you are acting ignorant.
Tiffani: No I'm not. I want to discuss my faith not fish.
Me: Mermen aren't fish.
Me: They eat fish
Tiffani: I'll wait to see if you change your mind and are willing to have a sincere conversation.
Me: I don't understand.
Me: I have always wanted to live in the ocean and swim with dolphins, now you are trying to keep it from me.
Me: Is this because I told you earlier that I am African?
Me: Do Mermaids and Mermen not want Africans in your ocean
Me: I am a really good swimmer
Me: Are there any black Mermen?
Me: Are mermen racist?
Tiffani: I am sorry that you don’t want to be serious right now. You are welcome to return later if you sincerely want to learn more.

General Discussion / WTF dude?! WTF!?
« on: November 23, 2010, 10:32:55 AM »**-or-fail

This may just be the worst haircut in the history of bad haircuts.

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