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KIM JONG-IL NOT DEAD, DECLARES NORTH KOREA ONE NATION UNDER HIP-HOP
November 10 2008
Pyongyang, North Korea – With reports of a severe illness having debilitated the North Korean leader, the spin machine in the isolated nation has been working in overdrive. From constant denials to apparently doctored photographs, the government has been doing everything it can to show the world that the ‘Dear Leader’ is alive and well. Now, Kim has appeared on national television to prove he is alive and well, and made a shocking change in the political and social climate of the entire country.kim jong-il hip hop master
“We have long been an isolated country, we have long been at odds with our neighbours and the rest of the world but that all changes today,” said Kim in a speech. “I have taken time in isolation and come to the conclusion that the best way for the Korean people to move forward is through music. North Korea will eschew communism and become a hip-hop nation effective immediately. Bling will be issued to every resident starting tomorrow.”
While few details have been released on how the new government will be organized, one immediate change will be the national anthem. Replacing the decades old anthem will be Afrika Bambaataa’s ‘Looking for the Perfect Beat’ (here) and will play in all government offices and schools starting Monday. A redesign of the flag is also on tap, as well as a top down renovation of the schooling system.
“Children will be taught the way of Hip-Hop. Not only the grand history, but also the culture,” continued Kim. “Children must be taught the path, and through the path they will find freedom. It will take a nation of millions to hold us back from our destiny.”afrika bambaataa
Kim, long an admirer of western culture, has been rumoured to be a lifelong hip-hop fan which in part stemmed from his love of Basketball. In 2000 Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright presented the leader with a basketball signed by Michael Jordan at the conclusion of a summit between the US and North Korea. He also reportedly uses pure silver chopsticks and has a ma**ive fleet of Mercedes Benz S500’s at his disposal, putting him in line with the upper end of American hip-hop culture.
“From what I’ve heard he’s an old school guy. Grandmaster Flash, Bambaataa, Fab Five Freddy, those kinds of guys, apparently though he’s always got Wu-Tang Clan playing on his iPod. Supposedly his guilty pleasure is Lil Wayne and he shuts it off every time someone walks into the room,” said Scrape TV North Korean analyst Lee Joo-Chan. “That’s great and all but I don’t see how you can translate your hobby and musical taste into a political system. George Bush made a diligent effort in turning the US into a nation of country bumpkins but failed. It’s an interesting experiment but one that may be doomed to failure.”
Many are looking to Kim to implement the changes much like his father, Kim Il-sung, did when the North was driven into communism. While the younger Kim has been looked at as more of an eccentric rather than formidable leader, some believe that he may still have some of the drive and smarts that his father had.wu tang north korea logo
“He is a little funny in the head, everyone knows that, but he’s got the same blood coursing through his veins and that may serve him well in the transition,” continued Lee. “But we need to see details. In a nation where millions of people are starving do they really need to be putting money into breakdancing lessons? Military service or turntable lessons? I don’t see how hip-hop culture lends itself to Socialism so it’s going to be a hard time getting people to see their country in a new way. More power to him, but it’s going to be tough. Word.”
Clan wants independent state
2009-12-24 09:03
Thando Mgaga
Pietermaritzburg - The AbaThembu clan in the Eastern Cape province, which former President Nelson Mandela is a part of, intends to recuse itself as part of South Africa and form its own independent state next year.
In the process the clan wants to stake claim on the entire KwaZulu-Natal, Western Cape, Northern Cape and certain parts of the Free State and Gauteng provinces.
The lawyer of the convicted AbaThembu King, Buyelekhaya Dalindyebo, officially notified President Jacob Zuma's office about the withdrawal of the tribe from the South African government. In a document which is in possession of The Witness, Dalindyebo's lawyer, Votani Majola, states that the official withdrawal notice will be officially served on January 6 next year in the national Parliament.
Majola states in the document that his law firm's clients request Zuma to accept the notice on behalf of the South African government so as to afford AbaThembu a dignified exit from Zuma's government.
Majola also submitted a document to the National Prosecuting Authority (NPA) calling for the charges against Dalindyebo, which included, culpable homicide, a**ault with intent to do grievous bodily harm, kidnapping and arson be withdrawn.
Dalindyebo was sentenced to 15 years imprisonment in the Mthatha High Court in October.
Some reports in the media after his sentence stated that the monarch believed he was a victim of a political conspiracy and unfair treatment. The reports stated that the judge who sentenced him had no right to do so as he was inferior to his superiority in stature.
Majola said that the deadline for the withdrawal of charges by the NPA against the king is Monday. He said that an apology was in order for the humiliation of the king, saying that the deadline for the apology is January 5.
National Day of Siege
"We strongly recommend that damages valued at R900m be paid by the South African government... and an amount of R80m be paid to AbaThembu tribe... The deadline for payment is therefore on or before 12/01/2010," said Majola.
Majola said that according to their information AbaThembu constitutes the largest tribe in the country with estimated figures in excess of ten million or so. "There is also information that suggests that about 60% of the land in South Africa legitimately belongs to AbaThembu. Johannesburg and Durban are among the cities that are built on our land," said Majola.
He said that they will request Zuma to avail himself to accept the notice of withdrawal. "If he does not avail himself we will serve the notice by hanging it on the front door of the main entrance in parliament in a manner commonly used by the sheriff of the court when no one is available to accept delivery papers."
Majola said that AbaThembu members will choose a certain day to be declared a National Day of Siege as they feel that they are under siege. On that day, he said, members will go on a pilgrimage to the Qhudeni Mountains in KZN to call on their ancestors to intervene and give them wisdom.
During the pilgrimage, said Majola, they will burn the national flag and the membership cards of the ANC and the ashes will be thrown into the Thukela River.
"With effect from the 06/January/2010 technically the South African government will not have jurisdiction over the land that belongs to AbaThembu...It is anticipated that the South African government will finance all the transitional arrangements," said Majola.
A source within the Zulu monarch, who wished to remain anonymous, said that the attempts by Majola signify the "last kicks of a dying horse".
Zulu Royal Household spokesperson, Prince Mbonisi Zulu, opted not to comment about Majola's submission saying that he needs to read the submissions first.
Spokesperson for KZN Premier, Zweli Mkhize, Ndabe Sibiya, said that Mkhize could also not comment about the matter as he was not briefed about it.
Dalindyebo's spokesperson Nkosi Zilimbola Mpahlana, declined to comment on Tuesday, saying that Majola was acting on Dalindyebo's instruction and that he had not been briefed about the plan of action.
Presidency spokesperson Vincent Magwenya was quoted in the media to have dismissed the notice as "a joke", and that he would be able to respond once Zuma had officially seen the papers.
