Topics

31

General Discussion / Ubhuti (Big Brother) is watching you...

« on: September 12, 2008, 03:15:30 PM »

SA policing soars to new heights

September 11, 2008, 19:45
Crime prevention could soon be taken to new heights if the SAPS seals a deal to acquire several unmanned aerial vehicles (UAV). This initiative could prove to be invaluable in the fight against crime.

From thousands of feet above the ground the device zooms into a target. It proved to be major success in closing the net on abalone poaching three years ago.

In the months leading up to 2010, it could form part of intense police operations. Up to 10 UAVs will be purchased to track activities at stadia around the country.

32

General Discussion / UNDIES FOR SALE

« on: September 10, 2008, 01:43:50 PM »

For Sale: Michael Jackson's Unwashed Underpants
Posted by Johnny Wright

There are reports that say a New Jersey businessman will be auctioning off a pair of Micheal Jackson's unwashed tighty-whities on ebay later today.

Hang on ... Need to throw up in a bucket ... Give me a sec ... Hold on ... Still honking ... I think that's pizza ... Oh man, some came out of my nose ... Anyone have an Altoid? ... Okay, I'm back. Sorry about that.

The undies in question were reportedly part of the evidence confiscated in 2003 by Santa Monica DA Tom Sneddon as part of their child molestation case against the former King of Pop and current King of Crazy. A pair of size-28 Calvin Klein underoos can be yours if you meet the reserve price of $1 million dollars.

For a million clams you can become the creepiest person on Earth. A bargain at twice the price.

Who do they think would be bidding on the underpants? A newly opened Hard Rock Cafe that wants to have a pedophile wing? "Here are Michael Jackson's dirty whites and Gary Glitter's leather chaps. Our specials today are the Herb Grilled Chicken Breast and the Hickory Smoked Bar-B-Que Combo. I can take your order whenever you're ready." And where has this disgusting piece of "memorabilia" been for the last five years? In some sort of hyperbolic decompression chamber? A safety deposit box? Never mind, I don't want to know.

Just thinking about that has made me queazy again. Where's my bucket?

http://www.yesbutnobutyes.com/

My question is how did he get hold of them?

33

Sports Arena / How the Chinese won so many medals

« on: September 02, 2008, 03:31:02 PM »

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If you can't see this sorryyyyy.

34

General Discussion / When shit happens....

« on: August 14, 2008, 04:06:42 PM »

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35

General Discussion / Scared

« on: July 17, 2008, 04:28:42 PM »

Sorry to do this guy but if you "accidently' log onto the internet using someone's WI-FI connection without paying can they track you down and report you to the police and make you pay exorbitant amounts of money and possibly take you to jail?

36

General Discussion / Eminem caught in HUGE drug bust...

« on: July 04, 2008, 02:55:57 PM »

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37

Humour / Jokes / DARWIN AWARDS....

« on: June 24, 2008, 12:45:53 PM »

I know its long but some of this is real funny.

You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado
here are the 2008 Darwin awards.

Eighth Place
In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of
water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to
retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned when he
ran,' accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Sixth Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection
from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom! When
it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach
used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach
him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free
him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a
bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long
flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into
the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fourth Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who
said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth
and pull the trigger.

Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front
door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the
store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was
standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber
announced a hold-up! and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers
also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the
scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended
cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot
wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one
else was hurt.

HONOURABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at
2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to
see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was
closed.

RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them
said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the
middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men
trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the
midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee
rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out
that a coil of lineman's cable, lay near by. They secured one end around
Bingham's leg and then tied the other ! ;to the bridge.
His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off
at the ankle.. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and
was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS...
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his
constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel
of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got
relief.
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.
The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the
elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.
It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... 'Sh*t
happens'

38

General Discussion / The best thing in the world...

« on: May 19, 2008, 02:42:14 PM »

I've noticed a trend on AG that we always highlight the shit things in life. So I thought today why not talk about the good. Cause if I don't I swear I'm gonna kill my stupid bitch of a producer....

So here goes: Going out on a crazy night with the girls. Then coming home to a warm bed and hubby there jus waiting for you....
Then having him take care of you the following day cause you have a hang over from hell..
Awww the bliss.

39

General Discussion / BLACK WOMEN WROTE MATRIX AND TERMINATOR..

« on: May 12, 2008, 02:38:00 PM »

Well aint that sumfin...

BLACK WOMAN WROTE THE MATRIX AND TERMINATOR AND WINS LAW SUIT!


Black Author wins The Matrix Copyright Infringement Case.

This little known story has met a just conclusion, as Sophia Stewart, African American author of The Matrix will finally receive her just due from the copyright infringement of her original work!!!

Monday, October 4th 2004 ended a six-year dispute involving Sophia Stewart, the Wachowski Brothers, Joel Silver and Warner Brothers. Stewart's allegations, involving copyright infringement and racketeering, were received and acknowledged by the Central District of California, Judge Margaret Morrow residing. Stewart, a New Yorker who has resided in Salt Lake City for the past five years, will recover damages from the films, The Matrix I, II and III, as well as The Terminator and its sequels. She will soon receive one of the biggest payoffs in the history of Hollywood, as the gross receipts of both films and their sequels total over 2.5 billion dollars. Stewart filed her case in 1999, after viewing the Matrix, which she felt had been based on her manuscript , "The Third Eye," copyrighted in 1981.

In the mid-eighties Stewart had submitted her manuscript to an ad placed by the Wachowski Brothers, requesting new sci-fi works. According to court documentation, an FBI investigation discovered that more than thirty minutes had been edited from the original film, in an attempt to avoid penalties for copyright infringement. The investigation also stated that "credible witnesses employed at Warner Brothers came forward, claiming that the executives and lawyers had full knowledge that the work in question did not belong to the Wachowski Brothers."

These witnesses claimed to have seen Stewart's original work and that it had been "often used during pre preparation of the motion pictures." The defendants tried, on several occasions, to have Stewart's case dismissed, without success. Stewart has confronted skepticism on all sides, much of which comes from Matrix fans, who are strangely loyal to the Wachowski Brothers. One on-line forum, entitled Matrix Explained has an entire section devoted to Stewart. Some who have researched her history and writings are open to her story. Others are suspicious and mocking. "It doesn't bother me," said Stewart in a phone interview last week, "I always knew what was true."

Some fans, are unaware of the case or they question its legitimacy, due to the fact that it has received little to no media coverage. Though the case was not made public until October of 2003, Stewart has her own explanation, as quoted at www.daghettotymz.com/matrix/matrix.html :

"The reason you have not seen any of this in the media is because Warner Brothers parent company is AOL-Time Warner... this GIANT owns 95 percent of the media... let me give you a clue as to what they own in the media business... Ne w York Times papers/magazines, LA Times papers/magazines, People Magazine, CNN news, Extra, Celebrity Justice, EntertainmentTonight, HBO, New Line Cinema, Dreamworks, Newsweek, Village Roadshow..many, many more!...

They are not going to report on themselves. They have been suppressing my case for years..." Fans who have taken Stewart's allegations seriously, have found eerie mythological parallels, which seem significant in a case that revolves around the highly metaphorical and symbolic Matrix series. Sophia, the Greekgoddess of wisdom has been referenced many times in speculation about Stewart.

In one book about the Goddess Sophia, it reads, "The black goddess is the mistress of web creation spun in her divine matrix" Although there have been outside implications as to racial injustice ! ( Stewart is African American), she does not feel that this is the case. "This is al about the Benjamins," said Stewart. "It's not about money with me. It's about justice." Stewart's future plans involve a record label, entitled Popsilk Records, and a motion picture production company, All Eyez On Me, in reference to God. "

I wrote The Third Eye to wake people up, to remind them why God put them here. There's more to life than money," said Stewart. "My whole to the world is about God and good and about choice, about spirituality over 'technocracy'." If Stewart represents spirituality, then she truly has prevailed over the "technocracy" represented in both the Terminator and the Matrix, and now, ironically, by their supposed creators.

Stewart is currently having discussions with CBS about a possible exclusive story and has several media engagements in the near future to nationally publicize her victory. June 13th 2004. Sophia Stewart's press release read: "The Matrix & Terminator movie franchises have made world history and have ultimately changed the way people view movies and how Hollywood does business, yet the real truth about the creator and creation of these films continue to elude the ma**es because the hidden secret of the matter is that these films were created and written by a Black woman... a Black woman named Sophia Stewart.

But Hollywood does not want you to know this fact simply because it would change history. Also it would encourage our Black children to realize a dream and that is... nothing is impossible for them to achieve!"

Artist malik seneferu


PS . Shut up, Deac don't care how long this is yo a** reading it. 

40

Humour / Jokes / The 11 Most Unintentionally Gay Rap Lyrics Ever

« on: April 24, 2008, 10:56:51 AM »

Eminem "Don't Push me"

The Lyric:
"Man I'm done saying that I'm done playing, Im'ma a start laying any of these motherf***ing cocksuckers."

What He's Probably Saying:

"No joke, my patience is exhausted and now I'm gonna start shooting people."
   
What We Like To Think He's Saying:

"Seriously, I'm gonna start having sex with dudes."

50 cents "Gun runners"

The Lyric:
Man on phone: "I got beef, I wanna see what you got, and if I like it I'll cop".

50 Cent: "Damn nigga, you hot!"


What He's Probably Saying:

Man on phone: "I have a conflict, I'd like to see your guns, if I like them I'll buy."

50 Cent: "Damn man you got problems!"
   

What We Like To Think He's Saying:

Man on phone: "I'm well-endowed, I'd like to see if you are also, if you are we'll engage in sex."

50 Cent: "Damn, man. You're sexy!"


Ice-T " I love Ladies"



The Lyric:
"But don't get me wrong, most fellas do rock."

What He's Probably Saying:

"Dudes are cool, but when it comes to sex, I love ladies."
   
What We Like To Think He's Saying:

"Don't get me wrong, I will bang a guy, too."


Jay Z. Memhpis Bleek. "Coming of age"

The Lyric:
Jay-Z: "Hey fella, I been watchin' you clockin'"

MB: "Who me holding down this block it ain't nothing, you the man nigga, now stop frontin'."


What He's Probably Saying:
"I like you, you should sell crack for me. Here's a sign-on bonus!"
   

What We Like To Think He's Saying:

"Hey fella, I've had my eye on you for awhile, I like how you look in those baggy jeans. Let's go park somewhere and have sex. I'll even pay you!"

Jay-Z: "Ha ha! I like your style!"

MB: "Nah, I like YO style!"

Jay-Z: "Let's drive around awhile".

MB: "Cool, nigga."

Jay-Z: "Here's a thou!"


Nas " One love"

The Lyric:
"But I heard you blew a nigga with a ox for the phone piece."

What He's Probably Saying:

"Hey, I heard you stabbed somebody because they wouldn't let you talk on the phone."

What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Hey, I heard you gave a dude with a pet ox a blow job so he'd let you use the phone."


Black Moon "Act like you want it "

The Lyric:
"I get paid to rip, step aside, Im'ma blow you."

What He's Probably Saying:
"I get paid to be awesome, now get out of my way before I shoot you."
   
What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Relax, I do this for a living, move a little to the left so I can give you oral sex."


DJ Quick "Dollaz & Sense"

The Lyric:
"Now, I never had my dick sucked by a man befo', but you gone be the first, you little trick-a** ho."

What He's Probably Saying:
"I'm so much of a bada**, you're basically a woman in my presence, so I'm gonna make you blow me."
   
What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"I've never done this before, you know, let a guy put my junk in his mouth. This is my first time. You little trick-a** ho."


Black Rob "Whoa"

The Lyric:
"Plus I'm gettin' brain from this chick like whoa! Finger near a nigga a**hole like whoa!"


What He's Probably Saying:
"So this chick was blowing me right, next thing I know she starts putting her finger near my a** and I'm all like WHOA!!"
   

What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"So I'm in this room with a guy and his girlfriend, right? One thing leads to another, next thing I know, the chick is blowing me, I'm about to put my finger in dude's a**, and I'm like ... whoa! This is awesome!"

50 cent part two "Piggy Bank"

The Lyric:
"Yayo, bring the condoms, I'm in room 203."

What He's Probably Saying:
"Dude, bring me some condoms, I'm gonna nail this chick, I'm in room 203."
   

What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Dude, f*** it, let's have sex, bring condoms, I'm in room 203."


2 Pac "If my homie calls"

The Lyric:
"Ever since you was a pee-wee, down by my knee with a wee-wee."

What He's Probably Saying:
"I've known you since you were knee-high to a cricket!"

What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Ever since we were young, we've engaged in fellatio."

50 cents part three "Ryder Music"

The Lyric:
"I read somewhere I'm homophobic, shiiiiit. Go through the hood, there's mad niggas on my dick."

What He's Probably Saying:
"People call me homophobic, but it's not true. In fact, when I go back to my old neighborhood, all kinds of dudes are on my dick. Ha ha! See what I did there? On my dick. Homophobic. Get it?"
   

What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"I'm not homophobic, in fact, I still have sex with several guys from my old neighborhood."

http://www.cracked.com/article_16158_11-most-unintentionally-gay-rap-lyrics-ever.html

41

Politics / Mugabe and the Chinese have lost thei f***ing minds.

« on: April 18, 2008, 02:23:54 PM »

http://www.news24.com/News24/South_Africa/News/0,,2-7-1442_2306748,00.html



http://www.mg.co.za/articlepage.aspx?area=/breaking_news/breaking_news__national/&articleid=337133&referrer=RSS


Oh my God I don't know what to say...
Those Chinese " I don't spik de Engrish" mother f***ers have lost their minds."
Someone please kill Mugabe....Please before those ching chong bitches actually kill people oh my goodness....
Excuse my French but I am so pissed right now.

42

Humour / Jokes / Karrine "Superhead" Steffans

« on: April 17, 2008, 05:18:42 PM »

Author of Confessions of a Video Vixen being interviewed by Troy Johnson.
Mixed feeling bout what she says especially since I haven't finished her book... Like to hear what you think?

43

Sports Arena / Radebeer

« on: April 11, 2008, 03:24:36 PM »

Lucac Radebe has a beer named after him in Leeds....

http://www.sagoodnews.co.za/south_africa_in_the_world/cheers_to_lucas_radebeer_.html

44

General Discussion / What they mean by SEX SELLS.

« on: April 09, 2008, 11:38:43 AM »

One of the sexiest ads I've ever seen.

45

General Discussion / IDIOT IN NEED OF HELP!!

« on: April 03, 2008, 11:43:16 AM »

Hi guys every time I download any RAR file it becomes corrupt.
How do I fix it and how do I get hold of a program that can convert RAR files to MP3's.
And can you please say it in layman terms cause I'm technologically challenged.
Thanx guys.