here's a little script i wrote...i know its good, so please dont go and steal it for some third rate play production or cream pie short film...its part of my book...anyhow....enjoy! vomit! whatever you choose! democracy!
Who knows these days?
A script
By: Big Space "leprosy"
♣ The Characters
*Naledi
*Eleanor
*Ribs
*Popeye
*Nurse
[Scene: Naledi’s bedroom. Phone conversation]
Naledi
Pick up, pick up, pick up…..
Eleanor
Hello….
Naledi
Whats up? I hope I didn’t wake you up
Eleanor
What time is it?
Naledi
Its 2:30am, I feel bad now, I really wanted to talk but I’ll call you tomorrow if too tired to talk…damn, you really sound tired. Did you enjoy your night?
Eleanor
Yeah, do that. I’m really tired. I”ll Talk to you tomorrow.
( Shouting in background )
“ITS f***ING 3 IN THE MORNING!!!”
Naledi
Where are you? ….who was that?..it sounded like a guy... And I know you don’t have bunk beds at your place.
Eleanor
That’s Shabeir.
Naledi
Oh.. o.k. I guess I’ll call you tomorrow then.
Hangs up phone.
f***. Who the hell is “Shabaam”?
[Scene:Walking in the street to the liquor store]
Ribs
(laughing) Like that? Just like that…that’s all she said, that’s Shabeer?
Naledi
Yep. That’s all she said, do you think I should call her?
Ribs
f*** no! after that shit ? Where’s your pride at ? I doubt Ghandi ate his own crap during the hunger strikes. You gotta stay skinny at all costs, plus girls love dudes who look like they have exotic diseases.. I mean , think about it…its written all over, that shits exotic….. That’s why they love it.
Naledi
Youre a sorry excuse bastard of a friend you know that?You call that empathy!!? I need drugs or something, this is too much for me to handle right now. That’s the third one!!
Ribs
I really do feel sorry for you. I’m sorry that youre so STUPID. Drugs are probably the reason why she’s with someone else right now, I mean what did you expect from dating a coke fiend? 3 grams by the candlelight and a hallmark card saying “ Yours forever, I blow for blow” ?
Naledi
That’s why I liked her, that was the initial attraction. She was also like a drug. She was a free spirit of some sort and I don’t mean to sound like some hippie or something but Its like when you take LSD and you feel like you know the truth about life and the truth about yourself. That point where you think like you’re ready for whatever. That’s how I felt around her. I don’t even know why you’re jugding me, you smoke weed! I just smoked weed with you now you lout.
Ribs
Now don’t start crying on me now, this isn’t Dr.Phil, you see a fat bald white man here? Weed is not a drug, its just that white people want to own everything including plants and trees, so they made it illegal for other people to own it so their daughters can smoke it in University toilets. Plus you know that shit is good for constipation. It relaxes the bowels and improves your macking ability by 0.5 % !! Holla!!
Naledi
If my memory serves me correct you smoked your first joint with me, and the whole time I was afraid you were going to piss your pants and I’d be left with the job of explaining to your mom why your pants were wet from eating a bucket of chicken…. Drugs are not for everyone though, but Acid! LSD! Lerato in the sky with diamonds??!! that’s the shit! that’s what all drugs should be like, an acquired taste of insanity. I’m telling you, if you can handle Acid you can handle almost anything.
Ribs
Yeah right, you make it sound like there’s some God in a drop of liquid.
Naledi
I’ts all a mind game. Can you imagine say like a really scary situation or question that you’re posed with, and with every solution you come up with there’s bunch of other solutions that challenge the other one and another comes in and this just keeps going and going to a point where you actually think you’ve lost your mind.Tthen you just feel this silent eruption inside you and everything is still..you have the answer! but you keep asking yourself at the back of your mind, will anything ever change this answer? It’s an uncertain certainty. But at least you got that little bit of certainty about life which this piece of shit reality doesn’t offer.
Ribs
That doesn’t sound like fun. Not at all…going crazy for fun?
Naledi
You’ll never know till you’ve lived it.
Ribs
You know what was fun? And you know I lived it cause you were there. The simple days where we could just drink beer, go to clubs we knew weren’t meant for us, talk to girls who only liked us because “were not like the rest”, then go home, wake up the next day and be like, “hey, why I cant I be like them, why I do I have be different amongst so many of them for them to like me” then get drunk again and it’ll happen the next day too. They say variation is important but people like you forget that the whole world runs on repetition.
Naledi
Damn.You need a hug. Or a positive role model or something. That’s quite a grim look on life, maybe I enjoyed some of it but not the most.. but hey, we all got our different perspectives, f***ing Rainbow Nation. I learned that from taking acid too you know,…. I mean…..who does Mandela think he is? Everybody knows I came up with the term “Rainbow Nation”, just think about it, Acid…colours…Rainbow Nation….. just ask anyone who was at Paul De Jong’s birthday party, I came up with that. They know the truth. I want 40 acres, and a benz as compensation for that.
Ribs
( Gives him a pound!)
Damn straight!!!!
Naledi
Hey!, isn’t that Popeye on the otherside of the road?
Ribs
Poppa who?
Naledi
POPEYE. The guy who used to stay 3 houses away from mine when I still living in goodwood. Haven’t seen him in ages, someone told me he was a newly born Jehovah’s witness or something.
Ribs
I don’t recall. That guy looks insane.
Naledi
Let me go and say hello real quick.
Ribs
I cant believe you know one of Jehovah’s witnesses! Is that a tree he’s holding?
Naledi
(Shouts) Popeye! Remember me? Whats up!
Popeye
Ahoy!! Naledi, its been a longtime! Whats good?
Naledi
Everything is all gold. My girlfriend is cheating on me though. But otherwise I cant complain. So whats really good? I heard youre a man of the church these days.
Popeye
What? Where you get that from? Quite the opposite really. Ive been practicing to become a songoma. That’s where ive been the whole time, studying in Durban with my uncle.
Naledi
Damn that sounds nice! Warm weather, beaches, curry and muti. Sangoma huh? Props! I guess that explains the branch youre holding.
Popeye
Ja, its from a boegoe tree, theres a lot of them nearby. The leaves help with bringing luck and favour from the ancestors, theyre also good for heartburn! This branch was a bit hard to get, the good one’s are right at the top and I had to jump into some ou baas’s private property to get this. And Just as I was leaving I saw this dog looking at me, andi don’t think it was the owners dog because this brak hond was too dirty for alpo and domestication. But it looked at me with the eye’s of a self righteous top pedigree bitch and its eyes said to me “ why are you stealing luck instead of finding it?” and I said back “is not the same thing?” the dog then turned its back to me and walked off, and under the muffled breath of it’s a** I it heard say to me “life must be hard when people have to steal luck”.
Naledi
I’m Confused with a capital “ W ” as in..What?
Ribs
So you had a vision? Or were you really checking out the dog’s a**?
Popeye
Maybe, lets call it a moment of clarity for now. But gentlemen, I must leave you now. I have a train to catch and a tutorial on ancestral dialect and the discourse of bone throwing.
I bid thee farewell. Can I offer you some boegoe leaves?
( takes some leaves.)
Naledi
Jeah ,sure, a little luck wont hurt. Thanks! It was good seeing you again, goodluck with your studies.
Ribs
Hey, could you tell me my future before you bounce?
Popeye
I cant, well not now least, we only do that in our final year. Go check out your star sign or something. Whats that thing called again..horrorscope right? Anyway…
Peace!
Ribs
Now I know you don’t plan on eating that shit? It wont give you luck. it’ll poison you and then you’ll die. He couldn’t even tell me my future.
Naledi
Stop being dramatic. He’s not heavy, he’s my brother. Theres no hurt in trying, have faith in faith.
( eats a leaf)
Ribs
I swear to God you’ve lost your mind…First acid and now some random shrub.
But, I’ll tell you what I could do with right now is some food, escargot?
Naledi
Nah I’m broke. But whats that sign over there? It has your favourite 4 letter word written on it.
Ribs
F.R.E.E. Free!! Maybe that jungle muti business thing actually works!!
Naledi
That’s what I’m talking about! Lets go check it out, PLEASE GOOD WHITE JESUS LET THERE BE FREE FOOD.
Ribs
Free sex!!
Naledi
Ha,ha,ha..you wish, you know that’s the only thing that isn’t free in this world!
Ribs
Masturbation is free but it still costs pride! Why does everything have to cost?
(stop at sign)
Ribs
“FREE AIDS TESTS”…what? No key chains and no buffet!! Aids tests huh? f*** it, lets just get one since were already here..i mean hey, this shits for free!
Naledi
When I donated blood you got free biscuits and juice afterwards, maybe they got that here too!
Ribs
For real ? lets do this.
[ Inside Clinic]
Ribs
Some bullshit, why we gotta fill out forms?
Naledi
Nothings for fee…
Ribs
True. But why do they wanna know when was the last time I had sex? Everybody knows its been a dry season this year.
Naledi
Speak for yourself..i’m starting to get nervous..( panicky) this is aids were talking about! Jesus H. Christ, H for “Holy Crap”! what If I have aids…Did I get it from her or did I give it to her? I don’t want to go to hell!!!
Ribs
Calm yourself before I slap you. You don’t have aids, your feet stink and youre skinny but that doesn’t mean you have aids. Youre just unkept. Just relax and try to soak up as much as you can off all this free shit. I might just keep this pen!
Naledi
Ok..whoooo…relax. breath….ok, this nurse better hurry up, I want to get back home on time cause I have a tickets to go see Generations on Ice later….but damn..my lunchbox is hurting ( holds his stomatch)…those boegoe leaves don’t ask questions.
Nurse
Are you alright sir? Case of the nerves?
Naledi
Something like that.
Nurse
Well let ust get to it then, but first let me tell you something about our counseling and ongoing therapy services which…(gets cut off)
Ribs
No. were fine thanks!! Just get to the results please .( whispers in Naledi’s ear) she probably wanted us to pay for that shit…
Nurse
As you wish. Your friend here is lucky, he’s negative. You have H.I.V sir. Thank you! Come again…which I seriously doubt! And feel free to grab a brochoure on our way out. Bye!
Ribs
( outside in the street. )
So tell me about Acid again.
THE END
