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N.A 187 · 12 · 4285
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N.A 187

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on: September 05, 2007, 02:11:57 PM
picture a moon god
searchin a star of his flick
he wants to promote enlightment, atleast to those that exist
he created milky ways
to fill ur dish, and gave birth to a sun
that brightened ur way
when darkness came-the black hole is what he f**ked with
he drinks Neptunes tear drops
plays tennis during comments against Cyclopes
mars was he's fire place to warmth
it sparked the fire star that directed him north
he went searching the galaxy for weeks
never stood still, got around like orbits
self rhitheousness was his goal
to uplift knowledge
till he found he's world , amongst earthlinks

motley

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Reply #1 on: September 05, 2007, 03:54:39 PM
Not bad conceptually, but not the most intricate of rhymes. I suggest you try breaking up words into their constituent syllables and making meaning of the syllables, like cats are gory(category) or seen a girl (senegal), but tight a**asin.

VirginPussy

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Reply #2 on: September 05, 2007, 04:01:22 PM
ths thread shuld be called...AN IDIOTS GUIDE TO RYHMING... :lol:   :lol:  :lol:
 am hell behold!

N.A 187

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Reply #3 on: September 05, 2007, 07:44:35 PM
WILL DO THAT NEXT TIME FOR you

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Reply #4 on: September 05, 2007, 09:22:47 PM
a nice story - a bit short though.
i liked it.

his majestys grandeur

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Reply #5 on: September 06, 2007, 02:43:31 PM
:D well i lyk your idea man.. Concept is really hard to think bout.. Kinda lyk the universe in a box.. Next time take da element of limits out and jus have fun
ND YOU WONDER FROM THE SHORES HOW DEEP THE PUDDLE IS........

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Reply #6 on: September 06, 2007, 04:40:28 PM
Dat was actually quite tight... i can see that you took some time to think about it and yo uknew what you were doing when you laced it....
 little sum sum like that

N.A 187

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Reply #7 on: September 06, 2007, 06:24:08 PM
NOP, I actually thought ya'll is tired of niggaz dissin on forums and the solution was a chronical verse


JAH BLESS DA HERB

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Reply #8 on: September 07, 2007, 10:50:19 AM
Dope concept... but one atleast needs a background of science
in order to fully comprehend that piece... very nice nevertheless

Recognise
"You Couln't Reach The Top In A Bad Game of Tetris"


N.A 187

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Reply #9 on: September 14, 2007, 10:06:01 AM
Actualterrestrial

Pa** the dubby we juice to reach alian frequancies
rusted from booing crews/
who cant spell the word MC
i keep those, who kick flows
within the blackhole, enlightened with my thoughts
i remove my gla**es/ the aftermath is..
like that dude from X man
stole the y chromozone, ananlysed under anciant microscopes
to study the venus form, fresh enough
to ventilate a bio-dome,
my tracks aint hot, what i write
circulates ultra-rays in microwaves
Reverse time and select the colour of the victumised
as slaves

Mr Dymize

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Reply #10 on: September 16, 2007, 12:48:16 PM
Quote from: "187a**asin"
Actualterrestrial

my tracks aint hot, what i write
circulates ultra-rays in microwaves
Reverse time and select the colour of the victumised
as slaves


Holy Shyt!!!
"You Couln't Reach The Top In A Bad Game of Tetris"


N.A 187

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Reply #11 on: September 20, 2007, 08:01:27 PM
Holy spit

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