am i overreacting?

[churchofthe latterdayLatte]

felt the difference afterwards but was too proud to get in touch with her

...why are boys so lame...

[briCK]

damn nine pages is a lot to read...BUT when it comes to females it has been my experince that there is no over-reacting

[General In8]

yall since we on this helpin relationships tip, help me out here. ive never had a niggar treat me gud and ive treated dem way 2 gud in my lifetime. sohere i was not wanting shit with niggars and i meet dis guy he wasn upfront about it but i cud tell he liked me, even after we was at a club n i ditched him to dance with da rest o da club. *ya know me*

but anyway. we started goin out two days later and it was like, wow, a breath of fresh air. you know he made me feel like everything i used to dream id feel wen i was a kid lookn at my parents broken marriage and known i wudnt settle 4 dat.

time went by, he met my kid and my kid luvd him, they actually clicked! my kid dnt just click feel me? anyay, he brings out da best in me. he makes me think, always pushn positiv advice, he makes f***n gud luv to me and on sunday while he was asleep i decided to leave him.

thing is, his ex hurt him bad. real bad. and now he dont trust easily. i know dats expected but i dont wanna be paying 4 her mistakes aight. i mean, im not her! he dont talk to me bout him, we always talkn bout me. and much as that is cul in da first week, i aint like dat. i wana know him so dat i can know which way to best please him. i wana be a real woman, so i dont know if i shud stay and stick this out or leave.

he sings to me, listens to wateva i wana listen to, he holds me and lets me cry on him, he lets me rant about work and guys and my past and he helps me see my future better. he believes in me, he drinks with me (wateva i want), he loves my cookin (it does help dat i cook gud) but u know wat i mean! he's got morals but he can still have a car chase with da metro, he studies bible with me, he even prays with me! guys!

but now he dont call me no more, a week has gon since i last spoke to him and he is quiet. im not the type to ask 4 flowers and expensive shit and bling and ching, i just want occasional attention, ya know, just to know he wants me. he told me he loves me once wen he was really drunk and i did the same about a month later and now on saturday he told me he's falling. dats cul but the night b4 he told me he's not ready 4 committment. i mean wtf?

wat am i sposed to think? wat am i sposed to do? i havent told him that ive kinda left him, thought id just drift away...

so dear doctor ag. wat shud i do?

[The Mighty Loks]

Sorry Mols but this one is too close to home but thank you for bringing this up cause you and me are on the same boat.

[Original Syn]

If you've already decided to "leave" him then why all the angst about him not callin you in a week? These stupid loyalty tests people trying to find the boundaries in their relationships help f***ing no1. You either gone or you there, dont play games... and I know how you girls love that shit but if you can seriously consider long terming with this cat then get it out there and be done with it. Ofcourse taking into account the timing of the thing, are you guys in that "lets make a determinataion about where this shit is going" place? If so then fine otherwise shut your gob and make decisions for yourself.
Oh and BTW you will always be makign decisions ONLY for you and yo kid, even if you marry this or any other guy, you can consider them when you make decisions but they have to decide to go along.
It seesm like you both know the score, now you just ahve to decide how long the game is gonna go on, you can set any time you want, butyou have to both be cool with that.
You know its a shame about your situation with men, but i heard that from too many girls that they aint never been treated weel, so have you considered that having never tasted honey you dont know how it should taste? or you've got an idealised view of the flavour you're expecting? Or you dont know enough that the honey you swallowing now is some imitation shit? all things to consider.
Simply, if you on the field and he cant decide to take the field, there is no game on. you need two full strnegth teams ready to play to have a match. It is all naturally black and white, we make the grey ourselves.

[The Mighty Loks]

Actually mine is dif but sim but yah I'll listen anyways

[Taf1]

Moly my dear... first up ue sound like a lovely person and like any woman ue really want to feel loved. Now... feeling loved/wanted/appreciated etc if ue do realise, there is a huge correlation in HOW he shows it and how ue want him to show ue. Wgich leads me to

Point #1 - Half the time we remember the bad our ex partners do and subconsciously it takes precedence over the good. Ask yourself genuinely, could this be the case? Not saying they treated ue well coz if ue felt su'n was not right then somehow they messed up. True. All i am saying is be open with yourself and think about how they tried to show ue they care. Ue might realise that half the time your expectations could have hindered any chances of seeing their efforrts and that should make ue a more confident person overall than thinking no guy has ever treated ue right. Feel me? Ue need that to tackle this relationship ish.

Point #2 - I am not so sure ue have that much of a big problem on your hands. No, really. I hate to say this but i think ue are making it a problem for yourself. Did ue ever sit down b4 going out and talk abt expectations from a partner with each other? Always know as much as ue can about what ue are getting into. Because he treated ue so wonderfully it raised your awareness and in your mind ue surely thought 'WHAT A CATCH!' That is where the first problem came in, ue prolly subconsciously thought a man who treats his woman that well is a keeper and wouldn't do it if he aint about commitment. When people do awesome things for ue at times it points us in a wrong direction. Why i don't think ue have much of a problem is coz he is who he is like ue are who ue are. If your ex dudes was comfy about ex talk, he might not. What i'm tryna say is everyone approaches things differently but with most things they do warm up with time. I think what both of ue need is a frank talk about everything... EVERYTHING. Simple port of call : It's time to step up communication and work around your expectations to accommodate your characters etc. This drifting away business helps noone and mind ue, chances are ue are letting go of a good person who can be the man of your dreams because he is not moving fast enough for ue... Maybe it's time ue listened to his needs first then deliberate over what ue both feel, then make decisions together rather than apart.

Him not calling don't mean ue shouldn't call, i dont know if it's a code for women not to call but hey in the end it's not worth it. Call him and initiate the convo, he will realise ue are a woman with initiative and he might appreciate that greatly. It will do ue good as well.

[churchofthe latterdayLatte]

wow, could't ask for anyone better to respond to those but Syn...nice one



whatever you end up doing...dont do the drifting thing---its the most unfair and cowardly shit you can do to another person...especially if you were bold enough to tell him you love him out of your own mouth...it leave the person in a f***ed up state of confusion- never really sure whether they should move on or not...if you don't want him, just tell him yo. ...and so what, now that you're cool youre gonna f*** him up even more for the next person...isn't that what you were just complaining about?


Molly you and your boy are playing games...silly games...i can imagine tho that its because you both have been hurt...and noone wants to take the risk of it happening again...but there's a baby in the mix...


Taf, is that Chingy on your Avy? lol ...i've always wondered

[Taf1]

Taf, is that Chingy on your Avy? lol ...i've always wondered

Nah, it's Soprano M'baba ... Rap Francois finest

[General In8]

wow.... eish...bafowethu, yall have hit me up with a lot to think about. thanx yall. i knew i cud count on yall 4 real opinions and yeah, lookn at wat yal have sed, mayb im expectin too much and mayb bein stubborn is not da way to go ryt now. so ima call him and have a real convo about all dis and hey, if it dont work out it givs me a chance to focus on me and if it do then its all gravy.

@ taf: its not dat i dont call him, i ALWAYS call him and he neva returns da favour. and wen i dont cal he gon be all "y u aint callin me?" and im like wtf y u dont u cal me? i rememba cats used to ditch a chick by just igging her so i wasnt sure if thats wat he tryna do. feel me?

@ mel: the reason im drifting is i kinda dont have da heart to say its over nahmean? i really love this guy and i dont wanna lose him but i feel like ive already lost him. so it was like, lets drift and see wat hapens. but point taken - not a gud idea

@ syn: i decided to leave him but i wasnt sure it was a good idea, hence i came forth for advice. i think we are in that determination stage, i just dont know how to get him to talk to me. i reall y wanna know wat he wants so dat we can cum to an agreement about wher we goin and how shit shud be, but niggar does selective converse. and i know dat my kid makes it a little trickier but he's there and he aint goin nower and wen we got into this he knew dat i cum wit a full package.

@ baldi: hang in der gel

@ all yall: yall da best.

much luv

[the brand®]

damn nine pages is a lot to read...BUT when it comes to females it has been my experince that there is no over-reacting

so said REVerand Brick..
case clesed
lets all jus blaze some green

[Taf1]

@ taf: its not dat i dont call him, i ALWAYS call him and he neva returns da favour. and wen i dont cal he gon be all "y u aint callin me?" and im like wtf y u dont u cal me? i rememba cats used to ditch a chick by just igging her so i wasnt sure if thats wat he tryna do. feel me?

i really love this guy and i dont wanna lose him

Ah i see... dude is acting broke also, well this one really needs ue 2 to sit down seriously and discuss THE FUTURE. I think Syn made the most valid point of all, both of y'allz standing in middle ground and one is tryna figure out the other without really asking the other party. Communication. Frank talk. That's your answer. Go for it before it eats ue up too much.


Oh


The bold bit is the very reason why (for your part) this relationship deserves your 110% effort for it's survival. Love is deep sis. He must have brought ue some happiness ue longed for to get your love. Give it a go before giving it up!

[General In8]

dats da ting, he aint broke!! niggar has cash comin in from all directions! he has more than 4 incomes which i dont know about. and i mean big money. like reaaly really big money and wen i tried talkn about it on saturday, he told me dat bcos of his ex, his damn exs, he cant talk to me about netin ryt now. he just doesnt trust women in general bcos we are prone to usin isht like dat against dem or manipulatn men with dat. i feel dat but im not women in general. i mean f***, i liked him b4 i knew he had doe. its an extra added plus but its not y im with him. 

but i feel u taf, mayb i shud fight for this one. hes a really gr8 guy, and he was sum1 as in da type o niggar i wud hav neva gone 4 b4. but den i got 2 know him and he blew my mind. he got under my skin and into my bloodstrem, ryt down to my heartbeat and shit...

[The Mighty Loks]

You know Mel I'm sorry to have to say this but I think you should jus give it up. I'm so tired of the "I've been hurt before and don't trust women " bullshit.
God how many times have women been hurt, men like to act as though they are the only ones with hearts.
Maybe your experience is different but what I know is once you go ahead with the relationship you'll be stroking his ego more often than you should.
You'll have 2 babies instead of one. If you are up to that  then fine, but ke...

[churchofthe latterdayLatte]

aaah, so you're drifting so one day you can just "rock up" and pick it up again...don't wanna burn bridges? all good...but unfair. hope it all works out proppa eventuali tho



lov!