A friend mailed me this the other day, so I thought I’d school the ladies a bit. We Always hear Rules from the female side, Now here are some rules from the Male side-
Ladies Shush now cla** is in session!!!Breasts are for looking at, and that’s why we do it,
don’t try to change that…Learn to work the toilet seat, You’re a big girl now, If its up, Put it down. We need it up, You need it down, You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down…
Saturday = Sport = Booze, Its like fool moon or changing of the tides,
Let it be…Shopping is not a sport…And
NO we are never gonna think of it that way
Crying is blackmail.Ask for what you want, Lets be clear on this one…
-Subtle hints don’t work
-Strong hints don’t work
-Obvious hints don’t work
-Just say it“Yes” and
“No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it, That’s what we do,
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for…
A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem,
See a doctor…Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument, In fact all comment become null and void after 7 days. (that’s a week by the way)
If you think you’re fat, You probably are…
Don’t ask us If something we said can be interpreted can be interpreted 2 ways, and one of them makes you sad or angry…
We meant the other wayYou can either ask us to do something…Or tell us how you want it done…
Not both -If you already know best how to do it, Just do it yourself god damn it.
Whenever possible, say whatever you have to say during commercials
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we
All men see only 16 colours, Kinda like windows default settings…
-Peach for example is a fruit
-Pumpkin is also a fruit
-We have no idea what Mauve isIf it itches…It will be scratched, We do that.
If we ask what is wrong, and you say “Nothing”, We will act like nothing is wrong, You see, we know you’re lying but its just not worth the ha**le
If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear(Law of the universe, we did not create that)
When we have to go somewhere, Absolutely anything you wear is fine….
4 REALDon’t ask what we are thinking about, unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as
-Sex
-Sport
-Cars
-3Sum with one of your girlfriends, etc...
You have enough clothes...1. You have too many shoes...I’m in shape, Round is a shape...
The end result of some of the thing I say or do is me having to sleep on the couch,
But do you know that men really don’t mind that…Its like camping.Cla** Dismissed!!! 
