New religion (join now to be saved)

[The Angry Hand of God]

I´ve read the Hiram key, Jesus of the Apocalypse, The history of God, God of Storms (Jahwe), The Qu´ran, The Bible, The Talmud and several X-men comics.

All these books helped me to understand that this god that is worshipped by all of the monotheistic faiths is in fact, the same god. Why then are there so many different versions of the same religions? In Christianity you have Catholics , Lutherans, etc.
Muslims have shi´ites, sufi´s, etc. And hundreds more, but they´re all wrong. People cant even read they´re own relgious texts right yet they go around killing each other "for my GOd". They are all corrupted the divine scripts to serve their own purposes just as the Catholics have been doing for ages.

Simple, man created God in his image, rather than the other way around. The god of the old testament was in fact Jahwe, an Israeli God of Storms and he was extremely bloodthirsty, then as people became more civilised, God matured also and became a kind loving forgiving God, rather than the one who told the Israelites to go into Cannan and kill every living thing. See what I mean.

That´s why I´m starting my own religion. It´ll be called (insert name here)ism, and I will have a house where all my followers can come to walk around naked. I will impregnate all the beutiful young maidens, so as to create a super race of genuises, with large penises. We will be fruitful and multiply and as my religion spreads, more and more people wil realise hat my way is right and they shall become my followers. Then when the day of reckoning comes, God shall come down and he shall seperate the sheep from the goats and the shit from the (insert name here)ists. And you will all go to hell, except for those who let me have sex with their daughters and those who gave me money. A special room in hell will be reserved for my girlfriends parents, where they will be mouthf***ed by syphillis sufferers with 20 inch penises for 12hours daily.The other 12 will be spent in Satan´s service where he will make them dive for shellfish in a pool of diarhoeah, while Ja Rule blares through their waterproof headphones eternally.

Therefore I implore all of you to repent and embrace me as your saviour. Show how much you love me, by sending me money and offering your naked bodies to me(ladies only please, sorry guys).

[kingdavid]

that´s very creative!!!!

[TATEguru v.2K9]

Pyro coming with some very pertinent points there..
question for PYRO though it may sound stupid in light of the above post but I must ask..are you religious? If not then are do you believe in a higher being?
Really these are questions about your spirituality.
You obviously an intelligent guy and so I trust I´ll get some good answers here..?

[The Angry Hand of God]

Am I religious, yes sir I am. Not in the "God will smite you dont do that" kind of way, but in the sense that I believe in a higher power and that the God of the monotheistic faiths (Islam, Christianity and Judaism) is the true God.
That is however as far as the similarities go.

Christianity as it is today, is not the same religion taught by Jesus and his followers. It was turned into a religion based on many of thepagan practices which Jesus renounced. It should be called Paulianity. cos he is the one who corrupted it and started the church. The same church that has been responsible for 90% of all the greatest atrocities committed by mankind. Jesus never ever said that he is the son of god. Read your Bible if you dont believe me. He was not white, he was not even what you would consider a handsome man.

Jews have corrupted Judaism, in the sense that instead of reading the original Talmud as it was pa**ed to them, they follow the writings of the Torah, which is a collection of texts by various rabbi´s through the ages, combined with the original Talmud. This, while their own Talmus strictly states, that ""this is the word of God and nothing shall be added to it or taken away"

Islam has become a dogmatised religion almost as bad as christianity. Muslims blow up inncent civilians in the name of God, while the Qu´ran says "a man who commits an evil act for the sake of goodwill, shall be judged just as an evil man". Then again, the entire conflict in the middle east can once again be blaed on Christians, the catholics in particular. Before the crusades which wer led by the catholics, the Jews and Arabs lived n perfect harmony with each other, the Crusaders came and ma**acred everyone. After the Jewish Diaspora they wanted to return to the land that they once lived in, but they were considered, intuders in a land here they oncelved as brothers with the arabs.

I could go on for hours explaining why none of the religions people follw are right, but instead i´ll let you go and read for yourself if you´re really interested.

I believe we were put here, to enjoy the things that God created, and that we have to achieve something with our lives. The only way you can reach your tue potential is by following me.

Join now to avoid eternal dissapointment

[TATEguru v.2K9]

You speak a lot of Knowledge Py however I dont have any sisters to offer as scarifice for your religion so I guess I´ll be eternally damned..
Good Looking out my brother.