I know how you feel Vex.
That's why I'm so glad that I never married or had kids yet. It also makes me extremely hesitant to actually have kids with anyone, cos I'm seeing two of my boys and how their babies' mothers are using the kids as a means to punish them.
My girl and I are planning to have kids in about three years, for exactly the reasons you state. I wanna do the grind now and make sure that when the kid c omes I'm comfortable and established. Just wish she doesn't turn out to be a f***ing psychopath though.