however you are also in the unfortunate position of having to contend with my ´birthday thoughts´ the WHOLE day (actually, so planning to skip this place, half day, my boss just doesnt know bout it yet).
1. note to maself - pick the friends a little more carefully next life time
i have not slept. i had visions of spending the time reflecting on a life - not to be. my friends are ruthless. took me to one of my favourite spot, Joburg (read: drinkin spot) and then it was overs.
when the clock struck twelve i was starin at some sign on the wall, all lighted up, "KNOW THY WORTH" and i guess thats the way forward huh.
then i was thoroughly embarra**ed on some ´go shorty its your birthday tip´ - blind. ma peeps would have made the perfect Nedbank ad - "who are these people"Just In: I am leaving early - YEEEEEHAAAAA!!!!
...aaahh, and i got such a nice present, aaaahh sweet.
* rozy one (i am feeling rather rozy), in pigtailed dreads, a little silver crown (yes, i intend to wear it all day-its my besday afterall) and her pink all stars, grinning like a three year old (behaving like one too), with a completely devil may care attitude, skips around wildly on her skipping rope -say cheeese *
so first i was a seed and then i was a-sort-of flower, now im in full bloom. look, no thorns today. just sunshine and blue skies, yes indeedi. aaaahh, look at all the pretty flowers, wow. and i love all of you...well imagine that.
23...
what do i know...mmmm..tricky. actually, i know that im beginning to not know
- surround yourself with people who appreciate you and appreciate the people who are real to you and experience you - this is so important coz generally it gets hectic out there.
- i am in a space where i like myself (damn, finally!)
- we are flawed as people, forgive them and love them none the less. this is hard.
- my fear doesnt mean disaster, it just says, stop, pay attention and listen carefully. there could be something here.
- there is enough space for everybody. there is so much love, its overflowing. and that is okay.
- ive come to grips with it, i AM my own worst enemy.
- non-attachment - acceptance and letting go, also very hard.
- learning to fail...we´ve been taught to succeed but not to fail. and u must just fail to succeed. makes u fearless, u learn how to get over it, which is like such a powerful tool. u stop caring and you just go forth mayne.
- and then i learnt how to be grateful, i can never explain how this has impacted on me as a person. i am overwhelmed most of the time. gratitude opens your heart.
- theres so much value in listening. ive spent most of my life being the storyteller and now i find that my life has been enriched beyond, by the stories that have been told to me. i will never stop learning as long as the universe is alive.
its been great in the valley, i learnt to stay awake but its time now. open the way, the blessings must flow - i am ready to receive.
im beside myself (sniff, sniff)...bear with me, the wait is no joke...364 days...
