VERY VERY VERY VERY LONG don't bother if you don't have a hour to kill.
I am a nice guy, well not really...I believe in karma so I have been for a while now feeling like yeah that negative energy I threw out there is just waiting to hit a kid when I least expected, but being that I is a smart cat I figured how to deal with it, the pre-emptive strike, so I have been throwing LOTS of positive energy so that I can neutralize the negative Karma thats heading my way. So I have been a SUPER captain, I been treating bitches like queens hoes alike, I been giving random cats cash and buying random cats brew and so on and so on. So I walk around smiling at little kids(no wacko) pretty much I am working extra hard just to tip the Karmic scale back in my favor
Aight so I met this little trollop that I kind of fancy, so in light of my "good" cat act I been taking her out buying her shit I haven't even hit it yet coz she "sweet" so she got me sending her random(well they seem random but I wrote this little application that selects random times during the day and send her a sweet SMS :twisted:
I am treating her like a lady opening doors for her buying her roses ICE cream all that Romantic shit, I figure I have f***ed over some bitches in he past so I’ll make up by using this bitch! There I am, I eventually convince her to come sleep over, I don't know bout other cats but If a bitch(I mean adorable human of the female species) comes to sleep over its means we going to have sex right? I a**umed its protocol, so we watching TV and I turn the light down and tell myself I’ll take my time the ONLY thing better than new pussy is KNOWING you gon get new pussy , there I am grinning away as I imagine how its going to feel, she shaped lovely so I KNOW its going to be really really good...she says she’s had sex only 3times (I know she lying, but coz of karma I believe everyone and what they tell me so if they lying I am an innocent victim and karma should switch my way soon). anyways I can't really hold back no-more so I start prodding poking stroking I try to pull her top off so I can see them titays coz its been weeks and I have been dreaming of when i'll get to see em, lick em, squeeze you know that good shit.
* while pulling her top off *
briCK:* thinking to myself *Thats what I am talking bout!
her: * jumping out the bed GENUINLEY shocked * WHAT YOU DOING?
briCK : :?
her: why are you taking my top off
briCK : :?
her: *looking around seeing a condom by the pillow* and that?
briCK : :?
her: you planning on having sex with me?
briCK : :?
her: So the reason you have been nice to me ALL this time and invited me over to sleep is so you can sleep with me?
briCK : :?
I swear I has a split second away from picking up my lamp and knock this bitch sideways...but i thought this is THE ultimate test, If I can bend over backwards just this once(I NEVER BEND OVER BACKWARDS specially for some bitch i aint f*** yet), I have this amazing way with words and if I shape my voice the way I wanna I can talk females into doing ANYTHING I want, in the past I used this gift as a tool of evil in this case I used it to convince her to sleep over and I would not be doing any funny business.
The horror of the unthinkable was about to be realized...I am going to literally sleep with a woman, mind boggling I stared blankly at the ceiling in awe of what was about to happen, I try to sleep and use the ol' “shes testing me to see if I listen and respect her wish” so I figured kill two birds with one stone up my positive karma scale while she thinks I'm THAT kinda cat, so aight kiss her cheek and say night! its cold outside and I sleep best when it cold, so I take off my clothes to my boxers and freeze(I know it sounds like stupid logic but think of it, if you cold you want to curl up pile on the blankets and SLEEP, thats MY logic and guess what that her logic too, so she strips to panties and T-Shirt and suggest that we cuddle and warm each other up for the night. NO MALE can do this without getting the biggest boner so there I am lying in bed with a woman with her hot(heat) thighs around me mine, sort of have wrap her thighs around mine, I have NEVER in my life felt such torture and I used to smoke ciggies anyone who has smoked ciggies knows that there is a craving that CAN"T me ignored, this was worse I HAD TO HAD TO HAD TO hit it. I start stroking rubbing, she responds by rubbing back stroking back, I am like surely that’s the green light NOPE she squels there will be NO f***ING TONIGHT..
I started crying NO SERIOUSLY, not to blackmail her like females do, but I genuinely did not know what to do, there I was a grown a** man with a stiff boner literally inches away from the hole and I could not do ANYTHING...so I continue sobbing while still caressing and hugging sobbing, pussy I is scary shit, so at three, no exaggeration, since 10pm - 3am I have raging boner and this bitch is still say know, she knew I was hard I kept pressing against her stomach, she would let me rub my dick on her but won't let me hit!, shit if it was not for the stupid karma shit I’d have kicked the trifling dick tease outta my place, I've done it before on some "f*** outta my house if we aint f***ing I see no need to waste electricity on you, bitch to the kerb you go!"
So at three I finally give in I run to the loo to take matter into my own hands It was THE MOST disgusting thing I have ever done EVER here I am in the toilet dick in hand while pussy lies FOUR, hear me FOUR f***ing meter away. Disgusting like drinking your own pee coz that’s how thirst you are and a tap with fresh running water is FOUR hear me FOUR f***ing meters away. I return to my room disgusted at myself, relived tension released but disgusted at myself, at that point I go STRAIGHT into the blankets and night good night and proceed to fall asleep, rather attempt to fall asleep..
2minutes later
her: you sleeping?
me: yes!
her:u sure you sleeping?
me:100%
I am pissed bitch I been sleeping next to you for FIVE f***ing hours FIVE with a rock in my pants that YOU know you could fix if you were not a stuck-up dick-tease. I was so mad I was a meadly of emotion all pilled in one mess of a briCK, I wanted to f***ing sleep and dream of smoking while Miss Badu sings to me and tells me I am the f***ING man!
her: I have been thinking for the last 5hours
briCK : :?
her: I think maybe I am ready now!
briCK : :?
briCK: READY FOR WHAT?
her: you know...
briCK : :?
briCK: I KNOW WHAT?
her:* while kissing me on the lips*
briCK : :?
her: * where your condoms? at*
I had a hard on for the last 5hours you felt it all over you, now that I don't have one anymore coz I had to take matters into my own hand(sic), you WANNA WHAT? f*** YOU!
So I proceed to look her in the eyes dumbstruck and say "nah it aint hattnin tonight lill'lady" shut eyes and sleep.
In the morn I wake to attitude, she won't speak to me coz I don't love her :? and I refused to sleep with her:? because get this "You think I am too fat!" :? you invited me over to your house just to make me feel bad buy turning me down when I am most vulnerable :?
females R crazy!
