SpaceVein: Born Again Pagan
Posted: 2004-08-03 17:46:28
Kings of modern day thought have proudly bestowed an honour upon my gesticulated birth right to produce pure uncut literate spermatozoa to fertilise the human mind that is undeniably full of pussy juice. Simply put, our minds are in a c*** state, a state of dilapidated labia folding that look like a million torn old Jewish faces at a concentration camp, bitching for more potatoes with their saran gas. Since this is the premiere issue of my work for The Boombap, may I formally introduce myself as SpaceVein, note that SpaceVein is one word. I like to have long meaningful conversations with distraught yet good-looking people, taking walks in the park, listening to music and occasionally caught eating Indian food.
The media seems to be a constant source for my everlasting audio discombobulation, I’m sick and tired of having AIDS and listening and seeing all these so called South African rap clowns. Good god it’s horrible to have my soul burnt with the flames of HIV and Skwatta Kamp at the same time. Let’s face it everyone. We all hate South African rap/hip hop or whatever the f*** you want to call it and we hate it because its non existent and the so called remnants of what it’s perceived to be are the major cause of the nations urethral haemorrhaging and anal puss secretion. Go do some nerd homework and listen to some rap from the period of 1988-1997. Now I’m not the type to be going on a forensic penis trip reminiscing about the old school but truth be told that back then it was all about originality and innovation. Public Enemy was different from Run DMC just as Main Source was different from KMD...please jerk me off till I cum a gorrila foetus out of my neck! If you can honestly in your right mind spot the difference between the likes of Amu and Ramesh. If you have some how formulated a theory to substantiate your spotted differences, I will gladly give you pictures of Brenda Fasie’s clitoris, post mortem style.
South African rap is horrible, boring, unoriginal and stagnant, this is not a scene so would all the Metro Fm and YFM DJ’s please swallow a cu full of my thick semen and shut the f*** up with their money making, capitalist orientated talk of uplifting the hip hop scene while they know nothing about it apart from the fact that rappers like to wear big shirts. Why did God or whatever force is responsible for the abundance of chunks of flesh create these beings? What good are they doing apart from lying to the little kids subjected to the bullshit that is popular culture? So to some it up in a nice bag of shit free Christmas goodies, Skwatta kamp is cat piss, H20 needs to clean up their image..literally, Zubz needs an education, AMU needs a dictionary and a role model that hasn’t been castrated, Hoodlum is retarded in a medical way, not in the rap way and Eclectics is suburban vomit riding the dick of dead African pop stars…note that all these names emerge from JHB, and any rapper that is threatened by Mzekezeke should just quit, oh..All the rappers are! I’m ashamed to live here, so I guess the cheesy little television beefs that linger in the pages of Hype magazine on the issue of Johannesburg versus Cape Town is a little relevant. Cape Town wins. Marco Polo. But as a whole, it is my duty not only as a writer who has been placed in the media to deliver anal poundings but as a human being who hates the smell of shit, to say that South African Hip Hop sucks major Russian bear cock.
Did anyone hear that joke about the Zulu? Why did the Zulu cross the road? To get AIDS! Ha! That’s hilarious, or the one about the Ndebele who was smiling during the autopsy because he was struck by lightning and he thought that god was taking a picture of him so he smiled! Cultural diversity is a wonderful thing! It’s even better when they cross breed and the most amazing, humorous, sometimes dirty but yet the most obscurely entertaining humans are created. I met man who was half Sotho half Chinese, he ate the most colourful meals, horse lard cakes, dog thighs and marmite. There’s something wonderful and aesthetic about this crossbreeding of human beings. The tone of skin emitted gives off that feeling of seeing a fat furry hamster moulting by the fire place. Or better yet described, it’s like a jazz musicians coming together and coming up with a sound that is likely to churn the average mans anal canal walk into a petting zoo. I’m all for sexual racial integration! I want babies that look like Phase 2 graffiti pieces, not just mere pieces of child flesh but artworks which will soon make me rich, just look at Halle Berry! Her white mother is loving the dollar made from her daughters onscreen sex antics. My fascination with girls of other races than my own can be rooted down to my first experiences with pronography. All I ever saw was white pron and Asian. I’ve only seen black pronography once and I was scarred for life. It’s safe to say that I’ve been “cooned” out or sold out to coffee revolutionary aspirations, been a victim of suburban movies or maybe I just like pink insides? I don’t really know, but I do know my sentiment is shared by a million other coons stuck in the matrix that is a White South Africa and a white World. God have mercy on our suburban souls.
Newsflash, a very reliable source of mine has confirmed the true identity of Mzekezeke... not DJ Sbu but it is MF DOOM! The mask is the proof, more celebrity gossip is that Brenda Fasie was a**a**inated by the CIA; she had released a record which they funded as long as she worked as an insider within the drug business. She failed to deliver vital info and instead got high as f***, went to bed with all her dealers and leaked that the head of the CIA is a white guy with dreadlocks by the name of Jesus. Hype magazine. Bought a copy and I wiped my a** with it. Go buy Levitation and Loslyf, the last true South African magazines, Blunt gets Honourable mention but they need a Black writer...hint,hint,hint!!
I saw an evil lady from my past a few days ago, I couldn’t catch my breath and I ran away like the bitch she is. If you’re reading this, just know that I’m not happy and my life is falling apart and I hope yours is too! God bless you and your family, the Lord works in mysterious ways, so he will probably burn them alive, so please consider it as a blessing.
Top ten Tracks to listen to before you Masturbate. (My favourite tracks at the moment since I masturbate all the time.)
1. Talking heads- Once in a lifetime
2. MF Doom- Mr. Clean
3. Carnage- Make news
4. Rob Sonic- Dyslexia
5. De La Soul- Eye Know
6. DJ Kid Koala- Basin Street Blues
7. Bjork- Hunter
8. Beastie Boys- Open Letter to NYC
9. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Date with the night
10. The Walkmen- The Rat
Peace and f*** Off! Go kill yourselves!
Slut Face burial ground Is alive and watch out for Horse Fat clothing and SpaceVein’s instrumental album featuring the likes of Sibot and Klinikal.
